a little link

to the best pregnancy dream ever! I can't remember my dreams from this time, but I do remember I had a phase of being in a sort of waking sleep before I'd fall asleep at night. I would close my eyes and see images burnished on the blackness - walking over a bridge like Tara Street bridge, with the orange bronze lights shining on the wet black tarmac, and I could sense the measured be walking walking, but the reflections on the road were what I could really see. One night recently we were driving home in the rain, and the reflections of the lights on the motorway were exactly the same as in the dream. In fact, I may even have had a driving dream the same, I can't quite remember now. They weren't dreams though, I was watching them like on a giant screen, dispassionately, I'd just close my eyes and the image would start to spool along.

The other thing I saw was a baby's face, the same bronzey detail, like one of those 4D scans, a scrunched up little baby face in utero, shining out of the darkness. I felt fairly sure it was Bodhi's face.

I've heard that newborns respond to their mother's photograph among other women's, without having seen their mother after birth. I don't know where that research comes from, but it sounds sort of reasonable to me. You live inside someone your whole little mystic life, you must forge some impression of who they are.