home birth and children present?

I'm torn, as usual.

I had planned on having my 4 year old daughter attend the birth of her little brother (though I have to confess, ideally it will all go down at night so we can just wake her to come greet the baby when it's all cheerfully over).

Not realistic? I was talking to my homoeopath who warned me off this course of action in no uncertain terms ('Jo, if she starts one of her tantrums while you're in labour, YOU'RE FUCKED'). Hmm.

She wants to be there , I want her to be part of it, not shipped off and left out. My homoeopath feels otherwise, I owe it to myself, after this hard pregnancy, and to this baby, to be fully focused on the birth. I can't argue with that.

A major fear though, is that organising my daughter to her Granny's and back in time to feel the newness of the baby will cause my MIL to be visited upon me, in labour, or directly after the birth. And it means my husband has to leave at some point. But as he says, something's got to give, it's better if it's not me. And having me and the poor girl shouting at each other mid labour will be no great experience for either of us. True, if I can't deal with her day to day, I won't be able to in labour. I'm romanticising everything, perhaps.

It's just that the stories of homebirths involving three and four year olds have been so positive and good, it's hard to let go of that vision.

Sigh. I don't know. As always.

Here's a link to a homebirth story with a brilliant little girl in attendance: http://home.comcast.net/~l.mcmahan/niel.html

Beware there's some graphic birth footage!

I've more to say about this, but I'm tired. And the husband wants to check his myspace obsessively - will Zach Braff have answered his email??