spam ching

I swear to God, I just got some sort of I Ching spam with all sorts of keywords of the stuff I was just thinking about. How bizarre.

Yet We have in addition noticed how frequently I was manipulated. Our mistakeBuy WOW Gold Cheaphas been thinking throughout your pet, as well as thinking that will love might beat everything. Sure, love can be wonderful and fortifying along with buoying, but only if it functions for both. During my predicament, it just has not been. Refer to it the emotional lack, a new compound disproportion, it doesn't matter. I provided my wish to an unacceptableWOW Gold Cheap individual. Simply. reddish any time Tina's inquired this since I understand how that can feel to be able to ponder the idea, to try to look "inward" once the solution is outward. It's not usually inside of our self to get these solutions, however at times, this really is someone complain about in addition. So to Tina and all sorts of one other persons, one parent or guardian or else, whomever has experienced their particular heart trampled or perhaps his or her soul broken or onwomen! It's all your fault!

I've got a certain amount of ... pressure over the last few years for not choosing something I feel would harm my kids. For not putting my happiness before theirs. But I am aware, in my heart, of what I am built for, and am not built for. And it comes home to me now, as I process my feelings, that the chances are that this will always be the way. I'm more than capable of selfishness and neglect. But actively doing something for myself that will hurt someone I love... probably not so much. I guess I did it to my husband, and that haunts me, as do all the things I got wrong in my life, especially around my wedding and my mother.... but if it comes down to an active choice rather than a passive letting it all go to hell... well. No. I won't put my needs first if it hurts someone. I can't say no. Perversely, I have to feel guilty about that too - I don't want to be the martyred Irish mammy, it's frustrating, it frustrates other people, unless they're the people who want things to be that certain way. But when I see where the pain comes from... I'd rather sacrifice myself to comfort you. My feelings are just ... feelings. The people I love are more important, so I can put them away. I'm a soft touch. And this, I suppose, is just how it is.

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stomachs

the smell of melting plastic in the morning

I thought something had fallen on the hob when Axl was cooking breakfast. Turns out a biro had fallen in the toaster and melted. I can't see any plastic but every time you use it ... the smell is there again.

The biro looked kind of cool though.

more yamamori

Yamamori have opened an Oriental Cafe in the old Bewley's cafe on George's St, where Cafe Bar Deli were. I am strangely excited about this, despite the fact that I don't go out or into town anymore due to lack of funds, friends, babysitting and clothes that fit me and look nice. But I can live vicariously through photographs! Of other people's dinners, on facebook. Oh yes.

my daughter, my daughter

Olivia comes home from next door, leaving her brother and friend to watch Nanny Mc Phee. She likes it not.

She had a fever yesterday, and is still a bit under-the-weather. ON the way back in she complains of chest pains - because her little friend, who plays Black Ops with her Dad (hmmm) said something that upset her. They were watching a cartoon, Olivia asked what one character was doing, and Little Friend replied 'he's jumping up and down on his chest to try and break all his ribs and kill him'. Olivia's response to stories of physical violence are very physical at the moment - she got a stomach ache after I told her waht stomach pumping was, for example. This lovely slice of graphic info upset her to the point of tears, despite all her own appreciation of horror and gore. It's a strange conundrum.

Ten minutes later she asks me for my ipod, and tells me of an app you can download called 'Don't Kill the Puppy', where tanks and things try to kill a ... puppy... and you maneuver it to and fro out of the way.

Strange little girl. 

my love, like ours...

I don't like the skeleton... but I'm glad someone uploaded this!

Alexandra Petracchi