Waiting...

My scan due date suggested that today or tomorrow would be the day. There's no sign of any interest to start moving from my baba, although there has been much stretching action going on in the last week or so.

I had my daughter induced with acupuncture to fit in with hospital policy, so I don't know how long she would have hung in there on her own... because of this I have a fear that this baby just won't decide to move - and I'll be pregnant forever! Or like an elephant. I mean obviously there are things I can do, but for the moment it's ok to wait - it's just there's this odd feeling that it might never happen.

I suppose it's because I'm so inactive myself, always reluctant to leave, to start the work, to get up and just do it. Think about it, dawdle, dither. I know a woman who works in the area of rebirthing, or did, and she suggested that people who have been induced are like this - always digging their heels in, trying to gain back that time, resisting being shoved. It's certainly true in my case.

The famous story goes that they induced my mother with a drip, and still nothing happened. These days you'd just be queued up for a section, somehow my mother unhooked herself from the drip and went to Bewley's. In those days they still had the little tiered cake trays on each table, and you ate what you wanted and paid at the end - so she stuffed herself with custard slices and went back to hospital and had me (aha! So that explains my cream bun habit and figure - imprinting!).

It's strange - much as I'm eager for the baby to make an appearance, it's such a huge thing to face into that I'm also mildly apprehensive. Fear of the unknown, I suppose - I'm not so worried about the bits I've done before this time, not so much the pain, just things going wrong, logistics, having it be what I want it to - or not.

However, I've got to the stae when people are staring to ask me if I've had the baby yet or not, which gets wearing incredibly quickly - I was 15 minutes late picking up my daughter today, and all hte teachers had driven themselves into a frenzy of excitement, deciding I musth ave gone into labour! So perhaps the time is now after all...