death of a holiday

So I'd thought we might still get away in October. But it seems that a first mini college tour is being organised, for 'some time in October' and my husband will not try to influence when. We are waiting for his manager to tell him. I asked him to email him and try to get dates, as by the time they come through it will be too late to book anything all over again.

So he said he had.

But he hasn't, I checked his sent box.

I hate being lied to, like some clueless dupe.

I hate that my husband will put this first, with such ease, over his family and their needs. Yes, it's exciting and magnificent, but it doesn't have to supercede everything else in his life. Except for him it does.

The problem is, that even if it all works out, and he makes money and is happy and fulfilled again, I'm not sure there'll be anything left.