Tootens!

I have an evening to myself! Well, I jsut have to get some work done, but still! My daughter's gone to stay with her Granny, my husband's gone to play a gig, I had some sweet bonding time with the baby as his sister wasn't around to either make me feel guilty or just be demanding of attention etc. I don't know - I feel the loss of the one to one time with him I had with her - but if I spend too much time with him I feel that I'm excluding her. I used to thing the term 'rollercoaster' was so appropriate for parenting but now I think I'm just going to go with my new phrase - 'it's a fucking minefield!'

Anyway, it was my baby boy's six-month-birthday last week. It seems quite monumental to me for some reason - perhaps because I'm just starting to feel normal again. I've been cooking dinners that taste nice again, I'm doing a little more housework without spontanaeously combusting... the baby's sleep has been awful for the last couple weeks, though the last couple nights have been better - this morning all was revealed - a tooth!

I told his dad on the phone, though after a moment of delight he got really sad. I remember reading in my Penelope Leach book that babies cut their first tooth at drastically different times, and all you'll know for sure is that that little gummy smile wil be gone forever. I nearly cried when I read that - I love the gummy smile! His baby months have flicked by so fast, we can't help but feel we've missed them. And we have about 25% of the photos we took of our daughter, which pains me so - I really didn't want that to happen, it's such a cliché. But it's true! :(

Addendum: ARSE! The bloody child is coming home from her Granny's! I never should have written this post, the Universe hears all....

Further addendum - the baby woke up and wouldn't settle without a feed. My daughter is still awake and whinging in her room because he wants a story. Her wonderful granny apparently dropped her on her head (she insists on rough-housing with her despite the fact that she's got no control over it, and one of them gets hurt every time) and my daughter currently screams in agony (he most evil wail ever) if she's lightly tipped! My wonderful mother in law has denounced her a bitch - fucking charming, and pulled out her usual gem of telling my daughter she can never come and stay again. No wonder my husband doesn't know what to do with his emotions and can't talk about himself or his feelings. I wish I had people around me who could actually be a support when things are less than sunny. Oh well, back to the usual.