a crappy day for a five year old

Olivia's been less positive about school in the last couple weeks. Not wanting to go, having a sore tummy a lot. I do think she has a low grade bug, I hope it's that, not anxiety.

This morning she made a fuss about going, and I whooshed her off with an 'it'll all be grand'. In fairness, she does generally come out fairly happy, and talk about her day. Today she was in a fouler, complaining before we got into the car. She was upset not to be able to stay with her Granny after we picked up Bodhi, got progessively narkier, asking for playdates, being a wagon. But as we left her Granny's, she asked for a playdate again, and started crying piteous tears about having no one to play with and being lonely. I asked her again if something had happened in school, and as we drove home, through sad little sobs, she told me about how no one had played with her at break. She'd asked he good friend from her table, but Megan had been playing with someone else and said it was only a game for two, and everyone else was busy, even the kids from other classes. So in the end she went and sat on the fallen down tree and cried, because she was so lonely and no one would play with her, and no one came over to see if she was alight, and ask her to play with them, and then the bell rang, and she'd been sitting on the fallen down tree all break, and no one came, and break was over and she didn't get to play.

I hate school. I really do. It it's just as hurtful and confusing and humiliating when you're thirty two and your daughter is suffering all the pangs you suffered as when you were in the playground yourself. My poor little baby.

So we had a huggle and formulated a plan of action, despite the fact that I didn't really know what the fuck to do, but I assured her we'd sort it out. So far my plan includes texting her friends' mums, in junior and senior infants, to ask them to make a charitable request for her friends to look out for her. They do like a cause, the littles, I find. One mum suggested that it would be worth talking to the teacher. Olivia said their teacher (who is a total Miss Honey, sweet, and fun and young and in control to an admirable extent) was good at dealing with playground issues, and it would be worth talking to her, so I will do tomorrow. The others promised they'd have a chat with the kids. And that seemed to go a long way towards helping.

And I'm planning a little Halloween party.

Olivia said that Ms O'D had had a talk with them at the start about being on your own, and approaching others on their own and getting together with other people, and maybe people had just forgotten. So hopefully she might have the talk again.

What am I hoping? That this is just a blip, a once off coincidence, and not some sort of pattern that's emerging because Olivia is a victim, or too bossy, or fussy or whatever to play with. I'm hoping that it will all be swept away. That someone who knows what to do will step in and do it. Because it just makes me feel desperate, and helpless, and heartbroken. I hope this is it, and it's not going to get any worse. I just recently read about two kids of bloggers who didn't get invited to birthday parties when everyone else did, and that broke my heart each time - I asked Olivia about whether it was better to ask the kid who wasn't popular, and she made me so proud by saying that it would never be ok to leave someone out. That she would always ask them rather than make them sad, and that she was talking to Degna at her table the other day when no one else was, to make her feel included... I can only presume Degna is the girl who started out not talking to anyone, and making angry faces, bless her.

Ugh, school. People. Being five and lonely. Ugh.

Update: I feel guilty dumping all my sadness on everyone else! Olivia went off to bed in happy fettle, most proud of herself for reading 'cat' off the television, then spelling CAT and 'cat', and BAT on her blackboard all by herself, and working out that she can also spell 'hat'... a mini breakthrough, methinks.

I think she's feeling better, given the plan of action's in place, so we'll just hope it's a one off. I know she'll be fine, I don't think she remembers stuff the way I do, either, I hope she doesn't, anyway, it's a curse.

Update 2: well she went off to school without a care, played with her friends, grand. I talked to her teacher, who was equally gutted, and says she'll ahve another word wit hthe class, and keep an eye out.

I know my daughter is a bit of a drama queen. But still, hopefully this will have cleared the decks a bit!