Saturday, November 15, 2008


You'd think after not posting for a while I'd be desperate to post. But I've been reading homework too much to think of anything other than insincere comments to put on them.

You'll all be happy to know that a colleague in a certain Urban Private Grinds type establishment vouches for her privileged teenage students and said that in the main they're all nice kids.

I'm glad, after the reports from FMC and Axel - hussies, Fatmammycat called them,giving me a sudden vision of a burn orange, twi-lit Dublin, overrun not by Zombies, but by Hussies, a walking dead Krew of bitchy orange girls, with straightened and highlit blonde hair, false nails and eyelashes, treading softly in Ugg boots, wobbling in fuck-me heels, closer, ever closer, to pub near you.

What kills them? Well, beheading, obviously. But any more inventive suggestions about a way to convert all these teens back to normal people? People from the days before fake tan, when Irish women had nice chestnut hair, and creamy (well, ok, sometimes ruddy) skin. I don't know what else we had going for us though. We are a slightly lumpen people. I'll give you the luscious titian locks and green eyed look, the chestnut curls and freckles, the rude health - but it's a FRACTION of the community who can get away with such Darby O Gillisms, so many of us are thick armed heifer types, with child bearing hips and rosy complexions. Maybe.

I was listening to Ray D'Arcy one day, and someone asked what Irish women looked like, pre tan and highlights - the question was posed to Mairead Farrell, who took a little offence, retorting, 'What did Irish women look like before? BET DOWN'.

Perhaps, there's a grain of truth in that.

But still. When will the over produced look go away. When will women just look natural again? It's time enough, please - I want to be able to go on being scruffy without having to feel ... scruffy.

3 comments:

Nick McGivney said...

Orange girls are the funniest.

Anonymous said...

They had big perms and big jumpers. So did the lads.

morgor said...

They were like the dwarves from Lord of the Rings.