Monday, December 22, 2008

ogre in the genes

I frightened a small child today. Olivia and her friends were playing in her room and I heard crying. I whizzed upstairs saying 'What's going on what's going on' in what I thought was a jolly tone - Olivia informed me that one friend had trapped the other's head in the door, and I said something dramatic along the lines of 'Oh God, WHAT did you do?' only trying to raise a laugh from the injured party, but it obviously came out far more serious sounding, as the accidental injurer burst into tears and wanted to go home.

Shit shit shit. Axel is always giving out to me for sounding too angry, or loud, when I don't mean it. This one totally took me by surprise. And the worst thing is, it's all more symptoms of me becoming my horrible, insensitive, domineering father. In sixth class I had a party, and one of the kids in my class jumped into our hedge. My father yelled at him to get out, in his big Fee Fi Fo Fum voice and scared him so much he wet himself and cried.

And now, here I am, making little children cry and want to go home. At Christmas time. And to make matters worse, Olivia suggested in the car that she'd talk to him tomorrow, as he might not talk to me now next time he sees me! That didn't make me feel better.

5 comments:

Nick McGivney said...

Man, that's me every single day. My goons just throw their eyes to heaven by this stage... And don't discount the fact that this is a training-module lesson in how the real world actually works...

jothemama said...

But I wasn't even angry! And it was just an accident, it's not like he did anything wrong.

I don't know. I don't think having people be mean to you is a good lesson. Just a weakening, embittering one :(

The Scarlet Tree said...

Oh dear...i know what you mean. My nephew looks at me with a sort of "give me somethying to hide behind look" and he is nearly six! I dont mean to be scary either :) I told him a few weeks ago that if he runs across the road with out me that a "car might squash him and he would die and we would all cry forever" my best intetions were there, but now he think I am the big, bad Aunty.

Holemaster said...

That happens me a lot. Not with kids so much but with adults. I spend my life trying not to be my Dad so I then I ask, who am I?

His Girl Friday said...

I can think back to a "few" situations such as this. :/
I think the best thing is just to be honest with the child, explain in terms they can understand, tell them you care, and apologise. I think for an adult to acknowledge a child's feelings, and also apologise to a child shows the child that you respect and care for them; and, that they are valued as a person.

(I've been trying for years to undo being like my mother, so I totally know where you're coming from)