Thursday, April 30, 2009


Hmm. The man I'm doing counselling with described a picture of two oak trees, growing side by side, roots in the same soil, outer branches strong and reaching. On the inside where they come together the branches and leaves are a little more stunted, weaker, less well grown because of their proximity to the other tree, the blocked light.

A realistic portrayal of a normal relationship?

Among other things, we discussed the myth of romantic love, it's short shelf life, and how the likes of Liz Taylor end up marrying eight times because of their belief in this myth.

He pointed out that while the whole 'you can do better' idea may be bollocks, that being alone is also a viable option. And suddenly I thought about the image I put in my last post.

Something that both comforts and alarms me.


Ms. Moon said...

Ms. Jo- every young, married woman in the world entertains these images.
It's so normal. We yearn for the comfort of the touching branches, we long to see how tall we could grow alone.
Consult your mother-wisdom.

morgor said...

hmm, i've always thought of being alone as perfectly viable alright.

Mick said...

What a lovely couple of posts. What is a 'normal relationship'?

Love the tree idea.

(BTW the picture from the last post was amazing)

jothemama said...

A normal relationship is just where you live as a couple rather than a single person, I suppose. You take them into account as well as yourself. You share physical and emotional space and accomodate them, while also trying to flourish as an individual. It's hard!

Mick said...

I think I might have one. Wow. Never thought of it like that.

jothemama said...

You could probably google the picture and find it?

Ciara said...

Yes it's hard!
The thing is Jo, sometimes you have to fight for it. I don't think romantic love is a myth, or has a short shelf life. But it does grow and change over time and it starts to look like something else. (And sometimes it dies, yes.) But you know what? It doesn't get easier. You always have to put the effort in, and sometimes you have to fight for it. You just have to decide if you want to try that.
Think about it. You can wait and let it go where it's going or you can try and change it's course.

Without trivialising it, it's kinda like when you're in a bad mood and if you MAKE yourself laugh like a loon and suddenly you really are laughing!

Go to the mattresses!