Thursday, October 15, 2009

another post about this...

Blogging is a double edged sword.

I started Infantasia as a place to vent all the crappiness I was feeling, and to rant and share about birth issues.

Back then nobody read it, so it was easy. Now I know lots of people who read, assuming they still read, or I get to know them and the whole blogging process has become social, instead of venting into a public void, as it initially was.

So now I'm kind of tied - If I do vent what I'm feeling, I'll get shut up and get off your arse comments, and I can give myself that response quite vehemently without it doing much good, to be honest. Or I'll get sympathetic, understanding comments which don't necessarily do anything more than the flaming (while being far, far nicer to get).

But the thing is, if I thought talking to someone would help I would... writing it down can help, or just bolster the negative, self pitying conclusions I come to, but since I started posting (publishing) instead of diary writing, it's hard to go back. The power of the 'publish post' button is strong. A secretwhinging blog? Ugh. The thought is kind of repellent, somehow, even if no one finds it, isn't it?

I don't know what the answer is. I'm going to try to channel it into cleaning. But am also wondering about mood medication for the first time in my life.

Positive experiences, anyone?


Tatty Franey said...

i had a personal blog that i closed because someone related found it and left a nasty comment and then some. i could not deal with the hassle, so i closed it. it broke my heart because at the time i had started to create a circle with certain irish bloggers (you included), and i just had to let that go.
i have a more professional blog how for my dance, but in there i don't feel that i can post certain things - not for now, anyway.

as for mood medication, my base homeopathic remedy handles that. not sure u have a homeopathic doc at the moment, mine is an angel, if you ever need.

not sure this is what you were looking for, but it's my 2-pence anyway :)

take care

Mwa said...

I have very positive experiences with talking, writing and cleaning. Also with mood medication but only in other people. I haven't yet found a person who needed it - took it - then was not helped.

I hope you feel better soon.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I dont think you would get any 'get off your arse comments' to be honest.

How you interpret the comments you do get could be the clincher.

Leave comments closed?

Maybe thats the key? but what do I know.

maggot said...

Talking is good - sod any negative comments. Anybody hassles you we'll sort them out sharpish.

Anonymous said...

Having grown up with a mother that practically rattled with medication, I'd say they do more harm than good, but I'm no doctor. Having low serotonin levels is a serious condition but I'd be with Tatty... try alternative stuff first. I'm giving nettle tea a whack for the laugh :) It's supposed to work somehow.

I remember taking valium once, it's horrible - it dulled me into a condition where I really couldn't give a toss about anything. No happiness, no sadness, just a foggy state of existence. It's weird.

jothemama said...

Yeah, see I don't want any of that.
I'm only really considering it because someone I know is on Zoloft for PND and says it just makes her feel like herself again, no pit of despair, no anxiety, no irrationally bad temper or mood swings, just balanced.

I hear it gives you crazy vivid dreams too? But I know not everyone has such a positive experience on it. I've no interest in swapping depression etc for a host of side effects that fuck with me to an equal extent.