Blogging is a double edged sword.
I started Infantasia as a place to vent all the crappiness I was feeling, and to rant and share about birth issues.
Back then nobody read it, so it was easy. Now I know lots of people who read, assuming they still read, or I get to know them and the whole blogging process has become social, instead of venting into a public void, as it initially was.
So now I'm kind of tied - If I do vent what I'm feeling, I'll get shut up and get off your arse comments, and I can give myself that response quite vehemently without it doing much good, to be honest. Or I'll get sympathetic, understanding comments which don't necessarily do anything more than the flaming (while being far, far nicer to get).
But the thing is, if I thought talking to someone would help I would... writing it down can help, or just bolster the negative, self pitying conclusions I come to, but since I started posting (publishing) instead of diary writing, it's hard to go back. The power of the 'publish post' button is strong. A secretwhinging blog? Ugh. The thought is kind of repellent, somehow, even if no one finds it, isn't it?
I don't know what the answer is. I'm going to try to channel it into cleaning. But am also wondering about mood medication for the first time in my life.
Positive experiences, anyone?