a black tuesday

Some days begin deceptively. With sunshine, or some sign of prettiness that brightens. And then the blackness comes, with a phonecall, or an ominous crack, a frightened cry.

There will be black days for everyone. Days when we have to be strong, and swim through the grief that tries to overwhelm us and pull us under. The weight of those we're trying to keep above the water pulls us in with them. It's a cruel mantle to assume, the task of being the strong one, when your heart is bleeding or breaking or the weight on your shoulders feels too much.

Or the pain is too much to live through. There is so much to lose, in having human capacity for love. And loss, and loneliness. And yet, there is no other way we can do it.

My heart is swelling and bursting with the pain of not being there to soak up some of the hurt and helplessness. I am sending love, and light, and care, and prayers to wrap you all in.