Wednesday, September 22, 2010

umpty

Woah. That's a purple video, against the blue in the last post. Turn your brightness down. Or stand up and have a little whirl around. It's very sweeping music.

I think it's one of my favourites. Up there with all the other favourites. The ones I never bought and listened to over and over but I love them anyway.

I don't really feel like that tonight though. Mostly I do, but not right now. The idea of needing anything seems far away because so does the idea of needs ever being met. So what's the point in pinpointing what it is you need but won't get?

I'll fixate on the lottery instead.

And retreat into this prickly absence of light.

I should make my bedroom nice. I should clean and shine and create prettiness. I should do an evening course and learn a language and open a small bakery business and start a budding romance with some earnest young customer and pay off my debts and get fit and turn my children into happy, well adjusted high achievers who I devote attention to in between gym visits and footrubs and work. If only I had a chick lit writer to write my life and show me how to care, and get the ball started rolling.

Irritatingly bitter and stubbornly negative? Yeah. Just today. I'm sure I'll start all that in the morning.

Part one


Part two

10 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

I know this yearning. I know it all too well.

Mat said...

Hah!, that's along the lines of what i'm trying to do.
Strike up relationship with cute aussie (meeting her for coffee soon), get perfect job (interview in a few hours), get fit (managed to go for a run yesterday), cut back on boozing (about 6 units in the past week, pretty much a record), sort out finances (a mate said he'd give me a loan).

Things keep looking perfect, then terrible in waves (good at the moment!). But everything has a tendency to work out so don't worry.

Now I should get back to revision for my interview rather than messing looking up oglaf.com and cracked.com and blogs.... curse my short attention span!

Jo said...

So Mat. What you're basically saying is... you're only here because you're procrastinating?

Thanks!!

Ah well, at least I#m up there with Oglaf. :)

Janine Ashbless said...

Jo, you're awesome as you are. Nobody really likes a chicklit heroine.

Okay, what I mean is I don't.

What is a Flump, anyway? They sort of look like mouldy potatoes. Is that what happens if you leave your potato sack too long - they develop a rudementary civilisation?

Anonymous said...

Mousie Brown says there's a fight in the woods...

Jo said...

I hope that's just a Flump era reference, because otherwise, have you any idea how sinister that is, expecially as an anoymous comment!?

Compulsive Cook said...

I know exactly how sinister that is! I'm not very anonymous, just was commenting from work, where I'm not logged in as my out of hours self.
It was meant to be funny, not horrendously sinister.

Anonymous said...

.lotto..clean bedroom..go to gym..make life meaningful..yea..all on my list too..i'm starting monday !..let you know how it goes..catherine :)

Anonymous said...

If you did all the stuff on your list you'd end up all boring and obsessive compulsive. Do open a bakery though. That'd be cool.

Jo said...

Heh.

But I can't! I'm too crippled by self-doubt and lack of cash.