gift wrapped idiot

So tonight I have to bring my grandmother to my cousin's 30th party in town.

I just ran up to the Avoca Cafe to get a present - something small and pretty because even that is a bit of a push at the moment. A teacup and saucer, all pink and girly. I have no idea whether it's the right thing or not, my cousin is all peroxide blond and fake tan and nails and fake boobs and job in the cosmetic industry and girly things and nights out and holidays in Lazarote and all the things that I'm not.

I asked the woman in the very fancy pantsy shop to gift wrap the present for me - with a sinking heart, as I had memories of the last time. Sure enough, she takes the beautiful embossed tissue paper and wraps it round the cup in a lump, securing it with three giant pieces of tape - then she gets a small piece of pink and silver paper and folds one side unceremoniously over the other and whacks on two pieces of tape, then starts folding the end (without tucking it under!) onto the other side, the clean side, and throws two giant pieces of tape over it! Now I'm no gift wrapper, I tend to give people selloptapey lumps as well, but I still have some skillz on this woman. Who works in a high end, high mark up shop, exactly the kind people run into for last minute girly presents. At this point, I squeak, and say I might just take it like that. 'Oh, you want to show it to someone?' she asks. Er, yeah. Show them your astoundingly dismal wrapping skills, maybe. I#m so sending an email. Training??

I tried to get out of this, when I couldn't get a babysitter - but my father said something about his wife coming home from a business trip, and his new kitchen floor finally being done, and I got the impression he had some sort of romantic evening planned, and who am I to get in the way of that. Plus he was groaning about having to drive my granny and not being able to drink to dull the horror of the event. He grudgingly said he'd take her if I couldn't get a babysitter.

So in the end, I asked my friend who is bringing her daughter and her daughter's friend over - they were planning a slumber party - to watch a dvd and go home when Axel gets in at 10.30. Nice, eh? What I'm asking them to do. But when I told my granny I might not be able to bring her, she pulled the whole 'well, I'm very very disappointed, and your cousin will be very sad if I'm not there, and with her father not there at her party blah blah blah.' So... where does that leave me? Off I go -

I will collect her from her house (which is 20 mins in the other direction) drive her into town, find parking, manoever her into the hotel, then bring her home again. Bodhi has a fever today, I've just discovered, somewhat to my relief, that he's not just suffering the effects of his parents splitting up ansd not telling him, he's actually got somethign called Hand, Foot and Mouth disease, or Cocsackie virus (not to be confused with foot and mouth disease!). This accounts for the clingy misery.

But  I just rang my grandmother to check things out about tonight and it seems my father is going after all - getting a lift with me so he can have a drink.

Pause to let the horror sink in.

Now I know what I should do is ring him, tell him that my son is sick and I can't afford the petrol and parking and the time I will have to spend cleaning so the babysitter who's already being put out can come over.

I'm just appalled.

But he already knew this was difficult for me and I'm equally horrified by the bitch fest I'll have to get into and my granny being a snarky cow for the remainder of her life and the thought of having to deal with my father that cuts the legs from under me every time, no matter what.

So which is more hassle given that I'm sitting here now with tears pouring down my face feeling like a total fucking moron?

I hate this shit. This is why I didn't want to blog at the moment, but today is just a fucking doozie. Let's see how much worse it can get, will we?