Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Dr Drill

Explanation of post title for newer readers

My uber amounts of dental anaesthetic are starting to wear off now. There is a burning tingle in my ... in the bit of my face below my lip on the right side that isn't my chin yet? And my tooth and the one beside it feel like they're clamped in a tightening vice.

And throbbing.

Arnica time.

Ironically it currently feels worse than the original cavity did. But I'm sure that won't last.

Things I like about going to the dentist

  • Getting a free parking spot right outside and arriving two minutes early!
  • He's very nice
  • It's good to have a man cradle your head for a while, even if it's only in order to drill into your tooth and poke at you with sharp implements.
  • the relief at no longer having a big hole in your tooth that might erupt in terrifying nerve pain at any second and a momentary respite from the 'I have crap teeth and no money to fix them' anxiety and sugar guilt
  • the sweet medical dentist-surgery smell as you walk in the door
  • the ceiling is wallpapered so you have something to look at
  • I'm grasping at straws now

Things I don't like about going to the dentist

  • I have to lie too high in the chair (which is designed for taller people) and the back support is in the wrong place so it cripples me
  • Three deep injections (dental anaesthetic no longer affects me normally for some reason. So I have have to have lots, and then it takes ages to wear off. I'm trying not to drool right now, four hours later.
  • I get incredibly tense and clenched
  • the money it costs
  • GETTING A FUCKING PARKING TICKET because I didn't see I was parked by a continuous white line (I mean, does anyone remember that sort of thing 9 years after their driving test??) when the double yellow lines were not updated after the white line was extended a few feet. So gonna appeal it. A nice lady took a photo for me on her iphone because I'd forgotten my phone. I wish I had an iphone. I would totally take pictures for other damsels in distress then.
I debated showing you my dental xray but decided that was a bridge too far, and just yukky.
Is it wrong to distract yourself from the horror of being drilled into/injected deeply by thinking dirty thoughts? What if the dentist can read minds through teeth like that James Herriot story about the barber who could read minds and his dog's mind through hairs? Is having sexual fantasies about someone exploitative of that person? Might I eventually come to associate getting fillings with sex and develop the dentist fetish I find so horrible and terrifying? Hmm.

My dentist is very good at telling me what's next. He told me something about using the big noisy drill and how there'd be a lot of vibration and I agreed, agreed, as it was the same as always, but I refrained from saying 'yep, I know the drill', even though I thought that was hysterically amusing because I thought he might not find it so, and I thought, nah, I'll save it for you people.

That's ok, no need to thank me.

Tingling and dribbling much improved, pressure improved moderately but not yet enough! Disprin may yet be in the offing.

4 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Brave you! What is Dispirin?
And I would not worry about the sexual fantasies thing. Whatever gets you through the fright...

Jo said...

Oh, I'm not scared, thankfully. Just tense :) I don't like it much.

Disprin is soluble asprin, is all. Aspirin? Yes.

Geeks in Rome said...

love the drill joke. hope your mouth feels better!!

Mwa said...

I hope you feel better now. I loved this post. Distress obviously makes you funny. (Sorry.)

Babes loves his disprin.

My teeth hurt more now that I've been to the dentist, but I think it's another cavity and besides I still have to go back another million times like he said. Bummer.