My daughter wants hot dogs in hot dog buns and chicken burgers in pitta bread. She's just screamed abuse at me and stamped and kicked things because I didn't.
I didn't buy the chicken burgers or hot dog buns because I feel bad enough buying hot dogs and pitta breads, and letting her eat wheat when she's gluten-sensitive, and for all I know could be coeliac.
So her father's solution is to go get her hot dog buns and chicken burgers, because he thinks it's better for her to eat that than nothing.
It's not. She'd be better off getting hungry and starting to eat something that might actually feed her, not just her appetite for sugar.
But he doesn't see that. Neither does his mother. Doesn't matter what they eat, as long as they eat something. I brought Bodhi to his granny's with a fever and sore throat this morning, and the first thing she did was spoon jellly and icecream into him.
I feel outnumbered and unsupported and devoid of inspiration or efficacy. This is useless parenting. Not only am I not nourishing her, I'm actively poisoning her with sugar and wheat and horrible processed offal.
I stand in the supermarket every time, looking around at the miles of food, wondering desperately what I can make that would be good for them and they'd actually eat. I don't know what to make anymore. I don't know how to make it work, this cooking/feeding thing. I'm out.
I didn't buy the chicken burgers or hot dog buns because I feel bad enough buying hot dogs and pitta breads, and letting her eat wheat when she's gluten-sensitive, and for all I know could be coeliac.
So her father's solution is to go get her hot dog buns and chicken burgers, because he thinks it's better for her to eat that than nothing.
It's not. She'd be better off getting hungry and starting to eat something that might actually feed her, not just her appetite for sugar.
But he doesn't see that. Neither does his mother. Doesn't matter what they eat, as long as they eat something. I brought Bodhi to his granny's with a fever and sore throat this morning, and the first thing she did was spoon jellly and icecream into him.
I feel outnumbered and unsupported and devoid of inspiration or efficacy. This is useless parenting. Not only am I not nourishing her, I'm actively poisoning her with sugar and wheat and horrible processed offal.
I stand in the supermarket every time, looking around at the miles of food, wondering desperately what I can make that would be good for them and they'd actually eat. I don't know what to make anymore. I don't know how to make it work, this cooking/feeding thing. I'm out.
3 comments:
Oh Jo - go easy on yourself. You're trying the best you can. I hate to see that you're not supported by your family, though. It's hard enough making it work without others undermining you. If you say "no," then that should be the final word. You were right to set boundaries.
Big hug!
(WV comprob - it IS a common problem to have food issues with children. Doesn't make it any less draining, though, thanks WV for putting in your two cents'.)
This is a reality which causes many a breaking of the vow of "I'll never let my children do..."
Or eat.
Although it is probably the truth that no child presented with nourishment ever starved to death due to refusal to eat said nourishment.
But.
It's hard.
By my fourth child, I let her eat just about anything. And now she has terrible stomach problems! Oh, God, Jo. Now I feel guilty.
Hell.
Don't worry, Mary, I know. I think childhood nutrition probably sets us up for life, I don't really buy this, 'noone ever died of malnutrition' cheery trope.
Also, I've been clearly told by adult Coeliacs exactly what the dangers of ignoring it are, and they include cancer :(
And here she is, living on cereal, bread and pasta.
So, no need for YOU to feel guilty.
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