I have come to the conclusion that my brain is not balanced. Not as in, mentally unbalanced, per se, though that is what it is, I suppose, but I've been reading about left/right brain alignment - specifically its influence on OCD.
Then I mentioned it to my homoeopath, who asked about my babyhood and said that my 70s hip dyspasia treatment (multiple nappies as cure) would have hindered my cross crawling opportunities (hmm, hsades of dsyspraxia?) and therefore my left/right brain attunement. She said her dyslexic daughter did Brain Gym excercises and went up 2 years reading age in months.
Which is all very interesting, and needs more research on my part.
UPDATE: ok yes, I have some work to do. Who can do this? Can anyone not?
But, that's not really what I was thinking of. Of late, the words, they stick. There are times when I feel a little trickle, then a flow of ideas that meld with the words I need to express them and they pour out of my fingers and I don't stop til they're there, and then, if it's a good day I fix the typos ( at some point), and people say startlingly nice things, and maybe cry, if I'm lucky and all is wonderful.
But that doesn't happen very often these days. Right now I have a story sitting in pieces in a Word file, in a real life A4 pad, in my mind, but it's not all coming together (deadline tomorrow!). Instead it runs dialogue and forms a little bit by bit but slooowly, and when I sit down to try and push it out and pin it down it retreats and recedes and hides and I fumble it and... aghghgh, facebookfacebookgmailfacebookmeh.
Same with this post, I thought of a good one today, it started nicely, and I thought, ooo, that will work and then I forgot, and now I'm writing this one instead, which, believe me, wasn't the original intention, and damn, I should be correcting mocks, you know.
If you're peering in the window to my mind, you'll need to wipe the green stuff and condensation off the glass first, I don't think your sleeve will do it. Bring a scraper.
How do you make the words gush and tumble out, birth them, let them free of you to breathe on their own? Or failing that even, get on with working?
6 comments:
I got it! Thank fuck! Fingers are all sore from clenching, though :)
You just...let...it. As with this post, which is beautiful.
but you still managed to write a really good post about not being able to write..so its not all bad:) ..i loved the last 2 paragraphs..
Thanks ladies. But most importantly, can you do the finger thumb switch thing? I've been practicing, I'm getting better!
o yea got it first time..not ! think i ll just practise crawling..that is seriously annoying..:)
If I knew, I wouldn't have just posted for the first time this week. I'm all gummed up too. I think it may have something to do with life being full of snot and vomit and emotional needs of children when you're a mother of small children. And exhaustion, of course. It's no mystery why there are more male writers and not so many mother of small children writers.
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