Friday, April 15, 2011

after midnight

Late at night, when I've stayed up too late again because I don't do enough during the day, there are some things I can't read. The words are too big, the idea too complex. My brain skips them, leaves a blank space, soothes me. There there, Jo, you don't need to worry about that nasty complicated thing, move along to the next bit, there's a good girl. You don't need to understand it anyway. Oh look, a kitten.

I'm sorry I don't write more real writing here. Posts with pretty words and insightful or revealing meaning. Things that are personal yet cast light on a bigger picture in a moving and artistic way. That's what I'd like to do, that's what I like to read. I didn't start the blog for that reason though, in fairness to myself, I started it as an outlet, a place to bitch and moan and talk about baby and family stuff in. And then I made friends through it. Still, I worry I don't give enough back.

Damn, I just got massively sidetracked by something and it's 1 am. Again. Bad. Mother. 


Ms. Moon said...

Shh, shh, shh. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing the best you can which is all any of us can do.

Mwa said...

You give plenty. Lots. Enough. Really. Now sleep.

(She says hypocritically after midnight while she herself should have been asleep for hours.)

catherine said...

I look forward to tuning in every your rants..and feel i can relate somewhat to your domestic give..thanks :)

Jo said...

Rants?? Me??

Thanks, Catherine and Mwah and Mary.

Val said...

Followed you here from BHJ... This quote really struck me:
"The things I believed before I fucked up my life were true. Don't get involved with married people, it's not worth it - and don't start a new relationship before you've ended the other one authentically."
I was on the other end of that & it haunts me to this day (13+ yrs). But these days I only write pretty superficial shit in my "daylight" blog bcz too many friends/family IRL know it now.

There's my slice of Ancient History if you'd like to read it.