Thursday, May 5, 2011


I feel... bad. Today I, meh, I annoyed Olivia's teacher through the inappropriate action of opening the class room door and speaking to Olivia in the middle of the lesson. I'm a problem parent, I do things that I think are ok without checking to see if they're actually considered ok. I can't really ask for anything for Olivia anymore because I've done so too many times. No being special in primary school. Olivia doesn't try to get her teacher's attention anymore because she too, has clearly asked too often, and now her teacher says 'What!??' when she does. So she's stopped. We asked too much, Olivia and I. I wish we could find a school that we fitted into, that could give us what we need without irritating anyone or putting them out. I am aware that that school clearly doesn't exist. I'm not quite sure how to teach my daughter to be happy with the status quo when I am so clearly at sea in it. I feel bad. I've done something wrong, but I'm not happy with the system and I'm not happy with the idea of just shutting up and taking it. Yet, I don't know how to deal with it in a way that doesn't cause more problems.

And I feel bad because my mother in law insisted on giving me money for my birthday today. And a kiss. When after her little outburst at me, I was so relieved she'd forgotten/ignored it. I don't want her to give me birthday presents, I'd far prefer if she just let me look after my own children when they hurt themselves in her house, and didn't treat me the way she did last weekend. I would have loved to say that to her, but I suppose that would be petty. Unnecessary. So instead I have some money I don't feel I should have. And a bad feeling. 


Tatty said...

i hate schools now. i loved it when i was a kid. but now i see it for what it is and i hate it, and i am more and more thinking of home schooling billy.

Mwa said...

I say spend it on alcohol!

I hate my son's school for the same reasons, and I'm not doing anything about it which makes me feel bad as well.

Jo said...

Sigh, I know. But it's so hard to find alternatives.

catherine said...

I m with Mwa..sometimes the answer is at the end of a nice bottle of cote de rhone..
I left my 5 yr old in school this morning with me pushing from behind and teacher dragging in front..very distressing.. apparently she is grand once she gets into the classroom..still..

Jo said...

Oh, Catherine, so horrible :(

I had a glass of wine and three Cosmopolitans. And no headache today! I think the cupcake soaked it all up. Woo!