I think I must be a very unusual mother indeed. Reading the lines 'This is the thing that women don’t tell each other about motherhood. That you will never be who you were' made me think exactly the opposite. Before my first child as born, I had an absolutly clear image of myself as a mother. It was laughter, patience, utter engagememt and closeness to my child, effortlessness, graciousness. Seven years and significant expenditure on anti-psychotics later, I wonder why on earth I ever thought that six hours in the labour ward would transform me into an entirely different person. I'm exactly who I was. Entirely untransformed. Certainly parenthood has forced me to engage differently with the world. I am less judgemental, more forgiving of human fraility, more nuanced in my views. But my essential selfish, impatient, intense and quick-tempered self is exactly as she was. I love my children beyond measure but find family life intensely claustrophobic. I'm happy for the lady who wrote this piece she has found such contentment and meaning in her life but honestly, Christ, this stuff is all pervasive and oppresive if you're not so much made never the same again by motherhood as exactly the same but even more so.
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Dear me
I think I must be a very unusual mother indeed. Reading the lines 'This is the thing that women don’t tell each other about motherhood. That you will never be who you were' made me think exactly the opposite. Before my first child as born, I had an absolutly clear image of myself as a mother. It was laughter, patience, utter engagememt and closeness to my child, effortlessness, graciousness. Seven years and significant expenditure on anti-psychotics later, I wonder why on earth I ever thought that six hours in the labour ward would transform me into an entirely different person. I'm exactly who I was. Entirely untransformed. Certainly parenthood has forced me to engage differently with the world. I am less judgemental, more forgiving of human fraility, more nuanced in my views. But my essential selfish, impatient, intense and quick-tempered self is exactly as she was. I love my children beyond measure but find family life intensely claustrophobic. I'm happy for the lady who wrote this piece she has found such contentment and meaning in her life but honestly, Christ, this stuff is all pervasive and oppresive if you're not so much made never the same again by motherhood as exactly the same but even more so.
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