Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Christmas, everybody

I'm finding it spectacularly hard to be sentimental and Christmassy this year. I want to wish you all joy and gladness and so on but my attitude is all wrong. And yet, I just had a lovely afternoon with my  godparents, I called in to my father's house and his wife showed us her tree, all perfect in the beautiful sitting room, and I nearly teared up with longing to have that place again. I am a woman of base materialistic desires. I wish I had access to that beauty. I want good wine and cheese plates and lovely things and to do it all effortlessly. I wish I had a place of my own to feel sentimental about without it being sad, with people there to look after me. And thirdly, I ... well, I guess I'm missing people an awful lot more at Christmas time, longing for closeness and celebration surrounded in a fairly light twinkly glow. Cheeeeesey.

I just got an email from work. They expect the 540 exams I picked up on Tuesday to be corrected and returned (included all the checked and and adjusted grades) and returned to them by the 2nd of January. Happy Christmas to me, eh? I need the money... but I just don't think I can do that. Don't know if I can give half back or if they'll take them all away. Mm. Feeling worried about this.

Oh well, now we'll have sushi, maybe decorate some cookies and please god, go to bed so I can do some cooking and wrapping.

Have fun, everyone. xx

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