Tuesday, February 12, 2013

soulcake tuesday

I don't feel quite right today.

The welfare psych service sucks. I thought they'd give me CBT (that's what I went there for) but today, after making me wait 40 minutes, the dr who saw me just talked about being on medication for the rest of my life. Which really isn't what I'm interested in discussing. But there's no point mentioning that. Plus, it's full of old, shuffling weirdy people, god help them, and the waiting room only has womany magazines full of hideous stories of lurid murder, domestic abuse and paedophilia and obese people etc. They're really not cheering. Last time I went, I literally waited for hours, looking at titles like 'He beat her til she was dead and then left my mum to rot'. Good luck, suicidal people.

Adding to the fact that I had a row with Axl over his mother telling me not to be late etc, I think this place is not going to be much of a help. I'll keep taking my little happy pills (which I've been doing for a couple months now, and failing to tell you all, because, well, this shit feels personal...) as they've so far plastered over my anxiety and misery and I feel far, far more like a normal person, which is what I hoped would happen. My holiday-from-me.

So yes, I've been feeling normal, but today I feel weird, and would like a day off from everything. Kids, crepes, washing up, work... I just want to read, write and watch Criminal Minds and not speak to anyone.  

1 comment:

Ms. Moon said...

And honey, you deserve a day like that. And you also deserve to feel better so I'm glad you're taking those pills.