Sunday, June 15, 2014

more of an attachment parent than I think

It's not that I'm trying to pull on the judgy pants, really, but a colleague of mine has recently had a baby - three weeks ago - and he and his partner have just had a night away from their son.  Who slept and took bottles happily, his aunty sent facebook updates, both text and pics. I'm sure he was grand...

I just can't imagine having any desire to be away from my newborn baby. Ok, so if you're not breastfeeding there isn't quite the same mutual need, I suppose... but would that change things for me? I can't imagine not breastfeeding, so I suppose it's hard to say from that point of view. I know other people who've gone away for the night at this stage too. I don't think I did the right thing waiting three years to do it in each of my kids' cases :) though I acknowledged that after the first time and still did it again the second time - heh. As much to do with cash and babysitting logistics as maternal clinginess, really.

In this though, I have no doubt that I am an attachment parent. I feel a deep seated alarm, bordering on secret panic, when a newborn isn't in someone's arms. The time I spent with Bodhi in the infant ward of the hospital was a nightmare, crying, lonely babies all around.

I'm not writing this post because I think they're doing something wrong, I just feel freaked out looking at it. Wah! 


Ms. Moon said...

I was the same as you but I realize that not everyone is that way.
It is the way it is.

Lisa said...

Three weeks is a little extreme. But I can see it with an infant if you totally trust the person you are leaving the baby with, like a sister or grandparent. I work with women and men who leave their 5 week olds in another's care all day. It's hard, but they do it.

Jo said...

That's an extremely difficult one, Lisa - but different, I guess, when you don't have the luxury of choice whether to work or stay home?

The implication that you need a night off from your tiny is what gets to me, I suppose. But then, as I said, perhaps it keeps the parents who need it far less frazzled and makes them better parents!