LGBT people are angy. They are grief stricken. They want to know why their straight friends aren't posting on facebook about Orlando. A rainbow flag reads 'Stop Killing Us'. This year's pride will not be the joyous, welcoming celebration it was last year because of the referendum. Instead it will remember that it is a protest.
I've been trying to avoid thinking too closely about the terror and anguish of the people inside Pulse because aif I don't shut those sort of trains of thought down, it's like being sucked into a dark tunnel and there are so many of them in our horrible world - dog torture festivals, abducted children, abuse, cities under seige where children are starving to death, all our human horrors, past and present.
The vigils are hard to watch, but beautiful, but I just saw the last texts of a shooting victim to his mother and allowed myself to read the report - I do this... even though I know what the outcome is, I read in some desperate, pathetic attempt to find the happy ending that isn't there - just in case it's hiding. But there is no happy ending here, it's just a horror. So much loss. I'm not sure what there is to do but ugly-cry for strangers who should not have been murdered, and the state of the world.
People have given hundreds of litres of blood and millions of dollars. Other stupid, hateful people have jeered and goaded online.Donald Trump is in there. Does one balance out the other? Does my ugly-crying count for shit?
I don't have any answers.
I've been trying to avoid thinking too closely about the terror and anguish of the people inside Pulse because aif I don't shut those sort of trains of thought down, it's like being sucked into a dark tunnel and there are so many of them in our horrible world - dog torture festivals, abducted children, abuse, cities under seige where children are starving to death, all our human horrors, past and present.
The vigils are hard to watch, but beautiful, but I just saw the last texts of a shooting victim to his mother and allowed myself to read the report - I do this... even though I know what the outcome is, I read in some desperate, pathetic attempt to find the happy ending that isn't there - just in case it's hiding. But there is no happy ending here, it's just a horror. So much loss. I'm not sure what there is to do but ugly-cry for strangers who should not have been murdered, and the state of the world.
People have given hundreds of litres of blood and millions of dollars. Other stupid, hateful people have jeered and goaded online.Donald Trump is in there. Does one balance out the other? Does my ugly-crying count for shit?
I don't have any answers.
2 comments:
I just watched a few moments of Anderson Cooper on CNN. Not surprisingly, the shooter was a somewhat regular visitor to the club and has used gay hook-up apps in the past.
Yeah, I know, I've seen that. It's heartbreaking.
In Afghanistan, pretty much everything to do with homosexuality = death penalty.
Very hard to reconcile that with the mix of open/out acceptance and insidious institutionalised homophobia of the West.
It's so very, very sad.
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