Oh, France.

I have to confess, that as I stood at the back of the gig last night, having my dinner and dancing to the songs that I love and feeling the swelling burst of love for it all, I did something bad.

For the last few songs, I started to think about the Paris massacre - a packed indoor venue, and the confusion and terror of being hemmed in with guns going off, bodies on the floor, screaming, running panic. The peace and beauty and camaraderie of a good gig lost to horror.

I was angry with myself for putting myself in that place, for allowing myself to imagine that scene being visited on the goodness of the evening. It made me anxious to go, upset me with 'why there and not here?' questions. Thoughts about how fast everything could shatter, how illusive our sense of safety is.

And now I'm reading about Nice... which I saw mention of briefly last night, but didn't realise it was a terrorist attack. I thought it was an accident.

Massacring families on a celebration day... it's repulsive. What is there to say? What to do?