more dreams

I'm not intending this to be a dream journal, but I had the worst night's sleep lat night - I was just uncomfortable in every way - itchy, sore bones and joints, and feeling oddly negative and alarmed for no reason. Bleh! And then this morning I had weird dreams. Long changing sessions of nasty dreams.

First I dreamt I was trying to plan my daughter's christening and I wanted Glen Hansard to play at it, and it was all in a lovely old church in an old estate - I think his family's (?) with lots of green grass and streams. But he said he wouldn't in end, and there were all these people here I didn't actually know, and I was annoyed because they were all just having a laugh and I wanted it to be more important - and then I realised I had no money to pay for anything anyway - cue lots of money anxiety dreams - and a sort of scary trek up a dusty hill with my daughter in my arms, as a smaller child, I don't know where I was going, but I was following this dusty road with a small rocky stream running along one side, with clear water and tiny, pretty fish swimming in it. My parents or Niall were behind us, I don't know why. Then we got to a sort of desert beach somewhere African - it was filled with the people of the area, who were black, poor, diseased, drug ruined and sort of deformed - I was holding her and trying to shield her from these zombie like people and really wishing my father would get there - to protect us and show us where to go! strange, as he has abdicated that role in real life.

The next bit was more about money, my husband's job, and total lack of communication between us, that somehow grew into me becoming another character who was inexplicably being chased by an assassin called 'Chip Monkey'(actually a name of one of the posters on Rollercoaster) who was Alan Alda. He cornered me at work and gave me his passport - I ran away on seeing his name, downstairs to where the police locker rooms were - and a pilates class, which I joined in to try and hide. He tracked me down and tried to shoot through the glass of the adjoining room (sigh - I have these recurring dreams of someone shooting at me through a window, which are usually really scary - and alarming, as it's such a symbol of being afraid or willies!)and ultimately all the pilates women attacked and subdued him!

I'm confused on which came what - stuff about my husband and money, and trying to talk to Irish politicians about money and grants - Mary O Rourke offered us a dodgy loan which worried me. And what stands out most is a scene where I discovered we owed an old friend from the US I haven't seen in years nearly ten grand, then there was all this mess with the christening, my father and my mother was there and I realised it was her birthday and everyone had forgotten, except my father who had known and hadn't bothered. - then a very upsetting bit when we both burst into tears about it, and I held her fiercely but felt so guilty and upset, it was horrible.

Ugh! Horrible dreams!