dreams

This morning I was heavily involved with Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker - though I don't think they were actually married and he was much younger than he is now. Most peculiar.

On my first pregnancy I had a lot of very sensual dreams, often more about touch or closeness than sex - I dreamed about falling asleep against an old friend who had a child, and it was so incredibly comfortable - I was acutely aware of dreaming that I was asleep while actually being asleep - layers of sleeping! I also had a dream that I'd slept with another old friend with whom I had once, so very long ago had a brief and unmeaningful teenage dalliance with - and I made the mistake of mentioning this to him, which got him and his girlfriend incredibly worried that I was somehow trying to confess my secret passions - or 'latent desire' as he put it. God. How humiliating, how unexpected - how disappointing that was. It never occured to me that anyone would consider that some sort of confession or proposal...

I don't think dreams are ever that simple, or direct. Both my husband and I have had really arousing dreams about very old people (thankfully once offs) but I don't think this means we have a perverted attraction to the elderly (I'm sure there's a horrible word for the fetish that no doubt exists - Wrinkly-wranglers, or something!). Nor do I fancy Matthew Broderick or another old friend I dreamt about having sweet, but completely unsatisfying teenage sex with the night before (now that's a funny one - because this is someone I knew in my teens, in my dreams he has sex like a teenager - odd...). I don't know why I dream about people from my past so much - perhaps there aren't enogh people in my present, or more likely because I've been an old married woman for so long I don't see myself as a sexually active or desirable person any more (oh dear, sudden depressing realisation alert).

I think that during pregnancy, having another life inside you gives you a heightened need for physical closeness, and that sex is just one manifestations of that. When I was pregnant I felt a very strong need for touch - massage, hugs, to hold a baby - just want human contact really, and unfortunately I have a husband who is 'physically undemonstrative' to a fault - six and a half months pregnant and I've had perhaps two massages from him - is it any wonder I'm dreaming about Matthew Broderick?!

The only literal sex dreams I'll admit to are the ones I've had about Angel (not so much David Boreanaz, sweet as he is) but to be honest, I think that's just as much about wanting to be Buffy!