Saturday, August 30, 2008

down with mingebags!


Do you always have your money in your hand as you approach the counter? Do you expect this of others? I'm not saying I have mine secreted in a security belt or anything. Beneath my petticoat.

Take today, and tell me what you think. I went into the newsagent adjoining Tesco to get my paper. I had a relatively heavy bag of shopping in one hand and my handbag. There were two people at one till, I grabbed a paper and headed for the other one. The shop was empty.

I got to the counter, gave the girl who was doing a scratchcard my paper, reached into my bag for my wallet, opened it, apologised to her for not being quicker, took out a fiver and handed it over. No real fumbling, just the time it took to do that.

But as she was handing me change and I was taking the paper, a cold, pinched, bitchy voice from behind me said, 'You'd think people would have their money ready before they get to the till, wouldn't you?' and an arm reached across me and handed over money. As I was taking my paper and putting my wallet back. I looked up to see a middle aged woman with the Irish Mammy haircut handing over her money.

Startled, I said 'I'm sorry for keeping you', but she ignored me completely, not making eye contact, or saying anything else. Instantly it occurred to me I wasn't sorry I'd kept her, I was sorry I hadn't tripped her up and made her drop her paper in a puddle.

It takes so much effort to be bitchy and hostile and unfriendly and cold to strangers. And the person on the receiving end expends so much wasted, negative energy Even by the time I came home I still had that anxious pressure in my heart. More fool me, maybe. But what do you gain in doing that to someone? What do you gain from meanness, impatience, antagonism.

Axle, in his time in convenience stores, said he saw it every day, customers in line, huffing and puffing. Throwing the €2 coin at him, barking 'Paper!' When he asked them for it to scan, they'd look affronted, cough out 'No!' and rush off. We're all that important. That we can put other people out, chivvy them, make them anxious, make them focus on our irritation.

I say no to this behaviour that comes down to poor manners and poverty of living. Smile at the people around you, help them out. Be assertive if they're being assholes, protect children. Say No to Being a MingeBag. Down With MingeBags!
DISCLAIMER: now you all know that when I say minge bag, I refer to a nasty, mean spirited, stingy, bitter, pursed-lipped, joyless, more than likely older person, don't you? It's got nothing to do with vulvas, it's a far better use of the word. But just in case you like your minge bags more literal, feel free to browse around here:

20 comments:

His Girl Friday said...

Oh, lovely vulva bags, I must say! haha! Thanks, I needed that! :)

Jo,
people are way too impatient and in a hurry for what?! All in all...it's selfishness.

hey, the ultimate selfishness...the drunk driver who tried to kill me this week. My blog has a pic of what's left of my truck. If I were in my car, the coroner would be looking at what's left of me. :(

laughykate said...

I wish you had said, 'Oh I am sorry, let me buy you a nice cup of Fuck Off You Miserable Old Bint. I take it's a double.'

Anonymous said...

Where do you find these sites?

If people hassle me like that I tell them to get up earlier, since I reckon most people are rude because they are late, and secretly know it's all their own fault.

Hope O-livia has a great first day at school tomorrow.

Jo said...

Ha, kate, next time :)

Tinman, my knowledgeable jouranlist friend actualy ran that one by me - though one of them actually came up on my google image search of 'mingebag'. Hee!

Thanks for the wishes - we're excited! I must get her washed...

Lottie said...

Yes there are far too many "mingebags" in the world and I only ever think of a witty comeback after I have left their presence.

Jo said...

At least you don't let it make you feel anxious. I get a terrible heart-stressed feeling when things like that happen.

Midget Wrangler said...

I get that feeling too.....it's awful I apologise far too much! It's almost like the mean spirited people can tell I am an easy target! Good luck tomorrow, I know it's hard for your first bambino, letting them off into the world, but she is more than ready!

Martin said...

I would instantly have found another reason to delay at the counter.

Ask direction to some non existant street or some such.

Then I'd spit on the mingebag as I left the shop.

Hag.

markvader said...

As Xbox4NappyRash says find another reason to delay the person, I enjoy looking for the exact change in my pockets even when i have a note in my hand. many times i end up paying with the note after much change rattling and counting.

Also if Mingebag has a child you should tell them about their parents rude behaviour and deserves to be put on the naughty step.

Mark

Jo said...

Oo, Mark, you're strict!

I should prepare some choice phrases for these occasioins. Maybe I should have said, 'Madam, you have the manners of a guttersnipe!'

Anonymous said...

Normally, I hate moaners but my pet peeve is people walking around the city centre really slowly, especially around rush hours.

I have been known to do a bit of muttering of obscenities under my breath and also, evil glances.

markvader said...

@jo

not strict, probably just like winding people up a bit too much.

God help me when I have kids.

If you are looking for insults I often find Monty Pythons Holy Grail is the best film for it. e.g. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Jo said...

Heh, I do know what you mean, voodoolady. Did you see the ep of Mr Bean where he's trying to get round the old lady on the stairs?

I heard on Ray Darcy though, that we're hte fastest walkers in Europe or some bizarre fact like that. Generally it pointed to an anxious quality of living. I've done a bit of leading Spanish students round, and Jesus, they're SLOW, so slow. But they just don't get our pace, They think we rush everywhere. People eat at the wheel a lot here now, or at their desk. Rush home in rush hour...

Lottie said...

Jesus - people who walk slow really get on my nerves.

Notes of point: They are called MOBILE phones for a reason You don't have to top in your tracks to answer them.

If you are going to walk at snails pace, then don't spread your ass all over the footpath so that on-one can get by you.

If it's 5.30pm and you have no-where to go - DO NOT GET in everyone elses way.

Phtff Hff Argh!

Rant over!

morgor said...

heh, nice post.

I think that anyone who beeps their horn because someone took 5 seconds to start moving should be dragged out of their vehicle and beaten to death with a golf club.

This whole post reminds me of all the assholes on the road . . . AAARRRRGGGHHH

Compulsive Cook said...

Don't be rude about people who walk slowly when doing something else!
I was once walking down the road with Jothemama, only to realise that she had disappeared. I looked around and she had fallen waaaay behind.
"Are you ok?" I asked concernedly.
"Yep, I'm fine," she answered. "I was just thinking. It slows me down."
A fond memory.

Jo said...

Ha, oh dear. I did say multi tasking wasn't my strinig suit. In fairness, though, my long leged friend there does walk at the speed of light, while I'm an unfit shortarse.

Anonymous said...

Looks like short term memory's not your strong suit either... :)

Anonymous said...

i always get nearly teary when i'm given out to by strangers, i can never think of a good reply and the humiliation can last all day... i'm a sensitive soul...
can you publish a collection of smart replies on your blog, please? i could print them and learn them off by heart...

Jo said...

Ha! I wish I had them! I'm the same.

Isn't it funny how you can come in some days thinking, god, people are so wonderful, and other days thinking, god, people are so awful, there's no hope for the world.