I'm going to try something new. Nothing is working the way I'm doing it, I'm flailing along, and everyone's miserable, most of all me.
So as of tomorrow, I'm going to give up on relaxing. Doing what my lazy habits dictate. I will WORK, and when not working I will ORGANISE, TIDY or COOK and when not doing that, I will devote creative ATTENTION to my children. I'm not going to attempt to go out anymore unless strictly necessary, and thus avoid the horrible stress and rows of trying to get the kids to bed and out of the house so I'm less than two hours late. And resentful, so resentful of Axel, who leaves the house at 4,30 pm on the day of a night out and returns at 4.30am, then sleeps in til 1pm and snoozes on the sofa for much of the day.
Perhaps I'll conquer the cluttered dusty mess of the house, and feel less stagnant and allergic. Perhaps Olivia will stop screaming and bitching at me constantly. And I won't be shouting at her for it all day. Perhaps Bodhi will be less hungry and relax a bit more.
Perhaps Axel will be less morose and irritable and pissed off all the time.
Perhaps I'll feel less like failure, less like sobbing all the time.
So I'm off to try it for a week, to see if it changes my life. Byee!
13 comments:
You go, girl.
Give it everything you've got, and you WILL get along better. If only because you'll know you've done the very best you can.
If you need any support, call on me.
love,
Sxxx
Write down the most important tasks in a notebook (not here on the blog) and mark them off as you do them.
You need a schedule, do the same things at the same time every day. Go to bed and get up at the same time (that doesn't mean get into bed and then immediately get out). Same with the kids. Assign chores where you can and make sure they get done. As the kids are old enough, make them responsible for something, delegate completely!
Make dinner time as long as you can and try to have everyone there, talking and being a family. Don't answer the phone or the door and don't have the telly or radio on.
Stop doing it all yourself. Don't let the kids and husband think you'll solve all their problems.
You are not and can never be Mother of the Century.
I know all about distractions, and how frustrating it can be to not have doen what you intended to.
But please don't fall into the trap of thinking that by you polishing the silver every Thursday everyone will suddenly be happy.
Everyone has responsibilties in a family. Everyone.
Good luck!
Good luck with the head feng shui, sis. There is a lot to be said for getting the inner house in order for starters. It might be an idea to - gulp! - park your cybercommunications for a few days and find the satisfaction in the simple doing of stuff. Laborare est orare, as the monks used to say.
Don't be too hard on yourself Jo.
Working even harder and relaxing even less does not sound to me like the way to stop the sobbing.
And talk to people. Talk to your friends.
And I hope everything goes well.
Thanks everyone. Polishing the silver! HA. How would you feel if you knew I hadn't hoovered my bedroom for about 6 months?
Twas but a figure of speech!
My point is, of course it's good to get things done, and it does lift our spirits when we can tick items off a list as complete.
But tinman got it spot on, blitzing yourself in busy activity won't solve everything.
Leaving the hoovering a night and watching a movie with everyone can lift spirits too.
JO - Good luck with this - I hope that you find some answers.
it's true that actually getting stuff done will make you relax.
When your room is tidy, dinner is made etc etc you can finally relax rather than worrying about all the other shit you need to get done and feeling guilty that you're dossing rather than doing a long overdue task.
Best of luck with this Jo, I hope it works out for you and the family :)
Sincerely, best of luck. You describe it so well... the reflected effect that chaos has on a person's soul.
Push out negative thoughts, they're doing you no favours and they aren't real. It'll go away soon and you know it.
Do you ever wish you had a room just for yourself full of paint tins? I do. I'd love to be able to throw paint at walls to vent the frustrations! It looks like fun.
K8, thank you for that. You're right.
Do you think we could find ourselves a squat? Freecycled plates and paint tins. The Mothers' Asylum.
A Squat of Ones Own...
Wouldn't that be feckin' marvellous??! I'd be spending all my time in there!
When we're finished, we could sell the place as a work of modern art!!
There's a borded-up house down the road from my house ;)
heheheh
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