Monday, April 6, 2009
how good am I to me?
Roses and a cd of Dr Hook love songs? Oh yes. If no one's gonna buy them for you, you have to buy them yourself. I even asked for the cd for Mother's Day, or Valentine's day, whichever, but did not recieve. I have to admit to standing in Tesco before Mother's Day, gazing at the big beautiful bunch of pink roses, the kind that look all round and tissue papery, while envisioning the forecourt looking but no doubt expensive bunch I knew I'd get, with the flowers I don't like in them.
They were nice, and are still holding out, actually, but oh, those pink roses.
So the other day I looked at the cd again, and it was the Last One, so I took it as a sign. And there were some poor little roses on sale for €2.99, so I grabbed them too, even though I knew they'd droop by the next day, which they did, but hey.
And then, on Saturday, I was miserable about my husband talking to me like I was shit on the floor over something bizarre and ridiculous, on the way home I stopped in Donnybrook Fayre and bought PESTO, fresh pesto, oh, the lyrical basily greenness of it. With quinoa pasta and organic broccolli for dinner, and a Lindt egg. A little one now, not an Easter Egg.
So yes, it's soothing my soul with THINGS and FOOD, which may not be healthy, but it's in the interests of feeling I deserve treats, rather than drowning my self hatred in suppressive fats and carbohydrate.
A little bit different, anyway.
If you think this is an indulgent and boring post, just be thankful I'm writing about it instead of the actual issue. Blech.
It's a horrible rainy day, the sky is virtually on the ground, it's cold.
Here are two things that are good today:
The first is eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. A friend gave it to me for Christmas and I am devouring it slowly in tiny increments. It's beautifully written and I feel like she could teach me anything.
And the second is what I made my daughter for breakfast - just right for this sudden rainy grimness. Three words.
Mmmmm, you'd almost press it to your face for a warm bagel facial and try and absorb some of the aromatic spicy doughy heat into your heart.
Wheat eaters, go get yourself one.