Of course I am lucky, with my two whole and healthy children, who don't appear to have special needs. Roof over head, food on table. While my marriage may not be blissful, there is no abuse or court appearances. No middle of the night trauma.
So I need to stop reading the small things that go wrong as a personal curse from on high. I drove out of the vet's this morning thinking, aw, can I not just catch a break? And then lectured myself sternly about the break I've caught, see above.
And yet. Could things just not... just keep simple?
On Monday I went and bought a cage for the impending gerbils. I got a freecycled tank, but couldn't replace the broken side, then we went to Woodies to try and get perspex and stuff to make a lid, but they never have what you need and Axel was a prick about it to the extent that it made me cry. So I just bought a cage. For €85.... Then the gerbils and their bits came to €40, but it all looked great, they were happy scamperers, and we all loved them and were proud gerbils owners.
Til 8am this morning, when Olivia came in to say Munch had got her tail caught, and it had pulled away from the bone, and Nibble had pulled the rest of it off (vomit) and my small girl was fairly well freaked out. Aconite. Good for shock, highly recommended.
So the €85 cage has a platform that doesn't latch into place, hence the caught tail. Off to the vet, to hear the joyous news that Munch will have to have an operation to amputate the bared tail, and it will cost €120. FUCK.
Can we not just replace the gerbil, asked Axel on my return. Tempting. She was the prettiest one, too. Ai me. This is my fault for forgetting to secure the cage. I'm off to find Twistysticks now.
This is why I'm happy with stasis, why I can sit on the couch all day. It's safe. I know that I'm blessed, that I've caught a huge break. But please, can stuff just stop happening? Can I just get something right?