Tuesday, August 4, 2009

when good dreams go bad

I just woke up from a Bad Dream. First I was running round trying to gather items for Olivia to bring to a big show and tell presentation outside the school. Her first teddy. Her first haircut. And so on, randomly shoving possible ideas into a little bag.

Then I was ... on a date? with an attractive stranger, visiting a group of, I'm sorry, there's no other way to put this - attractive young men, who showered me with jokes, smiles, attention and maybe beer. And I was nothing short of scintillating, all the while worrying about being too blobby to take off my skanky hoodie, but considering it nonetheless. Ah, the subconscious...

But THEN, a snotty school mother (who is actually a snotty teacher I once worked with) gave out to me for not having sorted out beer I'd apparently promised to source (beer theme again?) and while she was getting all stroppy, I realised I'd forgotten about Olivia - and ran to find her, only to find that she'd finished. When directed outside, I found her standing at the bus stop, alone, all sweet in yellow with a school bag on her back. When she saw me her face crumpled into heartbroken, miserable tears and she turned away.

And I woke up, scoriated with crushing shame, scored with guilt-clawmarks like I'd been mauled by a giant mean guilt monster. Gah! Between that and the stiffness and soreness from falling over yesterday, I could hardly walk down the stairs.

I hate parenthood. I want to frolic with pretty dream boys without repercussions. Ow, the muscle just above my knee is sore.

On the plus side, I just opened my gmail to find FOUR story updates waiting for me. FOUR! Yes, I'm spending too much time reading, neglecting my children, and worse still, my poor blog (and you, my readers). But at least it's an innocent past time, I could be by a pool, basking in youthful male attention. That would be really bad.

9 comments:

Mick said...

Jees, what a dream. I'm sure there are a lot if deeper issues going on there. Independance issues, freedom and security.

Or maybe it was just a dream.

I also read way too much. It's only harmful when you start to neglect personal hygiene :-)

jothemama said...

Mm. Except I'm reading (often smutty) Twilight fanfiction....

Yes, that dream was not so subtle. They tend not to be.

Ms. Moon said...

Sometimes you do not need to consult your Freud.
Ah, Jo.
Normal. Can I just say that? Entirely normal.

Holemaster said...

Here's a good one..... waking up from a very vocal sex dream with your girlfiend's right boob in your hand while she laughs hysterically.

mammydiaries said...

Oh Jo! Big virtual hug and giant box of virtual calorie free roses! mmm... Sounds like you need a holiday and not to feel guilty aboutit...

Xbox4NappyRash said...

The mental romping and child neglect I can forgive, the abuse of 'to/too/of/off' makes me want to call someone with a name tag.

jothemama said...

I found them! It was hard and took three reads to find the of!... but at least I fix my mistakes when I'm told, It's-Box...

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I've made a concerted effort to correct all my it's's.

I type it wrong every single time. So every single one you see that I get right, I have had to correct.

I should get a medal.

And I'm still not sure it's wrong...

jothemama said...

No doubt you think of me lovingly each apostrophe as well. How sweet!