I'm fed up with myself.
I want to want to do stuff.
I want to want to do my work and sustain my concentration on it and get it done and feel good about achieving something.
I want to want to cook nice meals and eat them at a nicely set table.
I want to want to clean up and have things looking nice and feel good about the clear space.
I want to want to play with my kids and do stuff with them.
I want to want to move more.
I want to want to go out and have fun.
I don't know. There's plenty of stuff I do want, and I enjoy it when I get to do it, but the rest... I just, I stay stuck. I suppose it's just bad conditioning. Habit. Fear... but sheesh. It's hard to rewrite it when you're so not bothered.
8 comments:
I hear you Jo.
Fighting it everyday.
The Zen way is to stop wanting and start being... sounds good, but at some point one does need to eat and shower.
Something that sort of works for me is to set very low standards (except with men :) and aim for just a few things at a time.
Prioritize the one thing that really really matters now and will have mattered 5-10 yrs from now.
That means playing with the kids more ends up being on top a lot because they'll remember that more than how clean the kitchen was.
Then personal health ends up high on the list,too, since you do want to be around in 10 years. And present personal well-being matters because it's easier to be there for others when you feel good about yourself.
However, one must peel away bogus measures of happiness/self-fulfillment like having a super clean kitchen (I'm being partial. I can stand a lot of dirt). and perfect hair etc...
Chop your list down to the 2 or 3 most essential items for you and then as life gets easier add one more. Or enlist some help (cleaning) and give yourself a treat every now and then (spa!!)
Those are my 2 cents ;)
Thank you! Worth more than 2 cents!
In my heart, there was some resonation with your post, and I really feel it. My world seems so much better when there is a sense of order, as there is at the moment. Tackling mountains of mess and clutter, and once started, it has become almost addictive. And when I'm in this frame of mind, I cannot imagine it slipping away. And when it does indeed inevitably become a mountain to tackle again, I have no idea where to begin.
Oh, I hear ya.....
It's winter, remember. In spring, all this will probably seem far away. Hibernating is necessary in our climate.
We went out for a walk to the baker's this afternoon - that is about all I plan to achieve today.
@Geeks in Rome - Wonderful comment! Sounds very like what I try to do sometimes.
yup, apathy is the enemy.
I remember a good phrase from some calendar thing :
"procrastination is the thief of time"
morgor, honey, that's like a classic proverb.
Here's a better quote: the primrose path of dalliance that leads to the eternal bonfire...
I had a sweet Irish teacher with a fluffy white combover that used to say that. And also, 'I am wasting my sweetness on the desert air' and 'and you're off on bicycle into the sunset'. He was cute.
i know what that feels like! in my case it's got a lot to do with severe scatterbrainedness. i think. where was i?
anyhow, i often start washing some dishes, because i think i want to do them, but then, half way through, i realise i really don't want to, what i really want is to sit down with a cup of tea, or to phone a friend or to start some other task... and i often give in!
yes, lets hope spring will make it all better!
PS decluttering helps a little. (little and often is what works for me. although it only declutters a little and i have to do it often...)
PPS watching 10 minutes of 'how clean is your house' always makes me jump up and finish the dishes! ...or sweep the floors including under the couch...
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