anonymous bringer of light

Now. I have just been enlightened by the anonymous hand of justice and truth. That post about the good-but-negative blog I wrote just received this comment.

Anonymous said...

"It's redolent of that unpleasant feeling of being trapped in endless discussions with your unhappy divorced friend, the circular compaints of hardship and misery that you sympathise with and regret, but can't fix"

it's amazing how one can rarely see oneself as one is. The above is your description of someone elses blog, but I thought it was a description of your own!


Funny. What annoys you in others is often a good mirror to the true you.


This would be a good point - if that hadn't been the whole purpose of the post. I mean - I used the words 'Moaning Minnie' and 'Negative Nellie' to describe myself within it... and, excuse my assertiveness, but I do think that while that description applies to certain posts of mine, there is more to be found here as well. There is humour, there are things I wish to remember about my children, there are happy thoughts, memories, ideas, opinions, pictures, etc. too.

I understand the feeling of reading blogs that are irritating and frustrating and how that feeling stays with you through your day - I've also found the best way to deal with that is to stop reading them.

I also find that while people may leave smug, sanctimonious, anonymous comments with a good will and the intent of enlightening the blogger, they are more likely to just piss them off. It's not really funny that what annoys you in others is most often traits you dislike in yourself, it's more of an accepted psychological truth. One I'm well aware of.

I'm not sure if I got my thoughts across right in that post. I held no resentment or condemnation for the writer of the blog in question. It's a good blog, well written, full of aesthetics and interest. I'll return to it, I know. I just hesitated to blogroll it for the reasons I tried to discuss.

For here is the thing - there are many women in very similar situations - maybe home with small children, unhappy, frustratedly married or single, or whatever, who may not have much cash, or outlet, or social life. And there is no question that blogging is an incredible outlet for them - for us. I'm not sure what I would have done the last three years without it, and the people I've met through it. I perhaps should have specified in the post that I firmly believe in the right of the blogger to use their own personal blog as a place to vent fears and anger and frustrations and simple bad moods. To whinge and bitch and stamp their foot. At the end of the day, if you don't like it, look away. I think if you have those feelings, this is as good a place as any to release them. It's a weblog. A diary. You dump it and you go about your day.It helps me get rid of it. And I'm always beyond grateful for the brief hit of tea and sympathy, or shared problems in the comments. Shrug*

But I also recognise the boringness of the relentless negativity, the self destruction of the negative cycling. However, I don't think pointing it out in a supercilious and completely gratuitous manner is any more effective than telling a depressed person to pull themselves together and cheer up.

However. Maybe I'm completely wrong. I'm sure this will make for fun commenting, so have at it. Ye be the judge.