Tuesday, March 29, 2011

oh lord, this day

 A weird one - I was up correcting til I couldn't go anymore, just before 3 am, then up at 7.15 to finish the last four essays. Same the night before, give or take a few. And the night before that was Saturday, coffee fueled late fest then. So I came home from dropping Olivia, collecting more work, went back to bed - couldn't sleep. Then Axl started doing gardening work, right outside the window - or possibly just hitting the wall with a mallet, I don't know, that's what it sounded like. Then he finished and went into the adjoining  bathroom to hit the wall there with his mallet (at least, that's what it sounded ike to my fragile brain). Then I kept being cold and feeling weird, and finally fell asleep to be woken at 12.45 by the dentist ringing back. More tooth issues, sigh.

So I feel odd. But I've had porridge AND eggs on toast now, and feel a bit better. I didn't get round to my work yet though, sadly. I had to suffer the indignities of the automated service with the credit card company, and try and sort things with my health insurance policy renewal.

I wish someone could tell me what to do about health insurance. I can't afford it. Axl has said to take him off, and I might as well have done that years ago and not let unused hundreds be squandered needlessly. Money that ends up on my visa bill because I can't really afford the monthly fee.

But I'm too scared to do without it either. Not with the spectre of breast cancer hanging over me.

The fee's gone up in the last couple months, so what had gone down to a more manageable €80 minus Axl is up to €120 again, and I can't afford it. So if I take a plan with less benefits, that doesn't give back 50% on doctor's visits etc, then it's just over 70 a month and gives me semi private cover in public hospitals. I can live without private rooms etc I guess, it's more waiting lists I worry about. I do use the option of claiming back, it's great, but it's not til the end of the year you get it, and for the last couple years I've been paying insurance, and therefore not being able to afford to go to the doctor or osteopath or whatever. Which is self defeating and stupid. So now it's a bit cheaper but I still won't have anything left over for those essentials, and I don't have the option of claiming money back. It's all so theoretical, I have no way to know whwat will happen or what I'll need.

I'm so stressed by the whole thing, by the way Axl says 'well waht are you paying health insurance for?? when I can't afford to take the kids to the gp... by paying money pointlessly, I might as well have thrown it down a hole in the ground for all the good it's done me over the last 7 years or whatever. But it seems so dangerous not to have it either.

I'm going to go on the cheaper, no benefits back plan but I really don't know if it's the right choice. God.


Joanna Cake said...

I think you have to take a plan that avoids waiting lists and allows you the freedom to see specialists when you need to.

I understand your concern. Once divorced, I will no longer have health insurance. Having lived with the safety net for 30 years, it's very frightening.

Ms. Moon said...

I'm so sorry, Jo. I understand. We have abysmal insurance because we're self-employed. It's scary.

morgor said...

I've never had an insurance apart from car insurance.
Never been able to afford it really.
No harm so far.... fingers crossed!

Insurance run by private companies annoys me, they're just out to make a massive profit and screw everyone.
It should really be a government run thing.

laughykate said...

Insurance is a scary thing. You pay so much money into it and then, when you go to claim, they seem to do everything in their power to not pay out.

I have a friend just like you, she's had it for years, can't really afford it now as they've stepped out of World Corporate gone completely Good Life...but her mother died of cancer so I was trying to get her to keep the bare minimum....

Mwa said...

That is such a scary thing. I don't understand why not all countries sort these things for their citizens. It seems so basic, and so sensible to pool all the resources for this kind of thing.