Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ok - I've done some work, but nowhere nowhere nowhere near enough. I've spent about three hours, I think, cleaning and hoovering and making dinner. I've had a shower, I managed to get to the bathroom (don't laugh, sometimes I miss that timeslot in a busy day). And I've 55 minutes before my mother in law comes over and I go out for a hen night Thai dinner (I forwent the paintballing this afternoon - I'm all for gender equality but for me, a hen night is face packs and martinis, not running round in the cold getting bruised up for the wedding!).

I can't really afford to go - but I said I would weeks ago, when I thought I'd get paid a little bit more for March. It's a hen night too, it's mean to say no to those, even though my friend (who is an old schoolfriend) asked me on facebook when I admitted I'd split up with Axl - to make me feel better? I'm not sure. These days I feel antsy around talk of weddings and babies and harmonious joy. I feel like this cynical evil has-to be divorced-or-at-least-unhappy couple:


This is from Awkward Family Photos, of  course, of course. The genius. It's hilarious, but still, I feel like I'm shining a dark light when I read people blogposts of newly wed joy, or blissful domesticity or whatever, and I really shouldn't comment at all, for fear of tainting the moment. Peering grimly through the window of ruined dreams :)

That bride is a cutey but her hair is weird - it looks like it's been sprayed to her shoulder.

Anyway. What was my point. Oh yeah, going out in 45 mins, better get back to work. I'm not bringing anything, I got nothing, no ideas. I figure it's up to a maid of honour to organise that, and this one didn't, she just vaguely said, feel free to bring fun things... but what is that? I need more guidance at this time. Oh! I do have an unused cockring I could gift her with, but I promised that to someone else... hmm... dilemmas... somehow I feel it might be a bit of a cursed gift too... the evil fairy godmother and the cockring of doom...

Apologies to the more delicate of you for saying cockring... it's ok, it never got used....

10 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Love you, Jo. You're living your life. And I approve of that.

Jo said...

Ah, but not like you said today, Ms M. Not at all like that.

morgor said...

Peering grimly through the window of ruined dreams :)
You can't put a smiley face at the end of that!
That's like "I was so angry I broke my fist off a wall. lol"

Anyway I was going to ask what a cockring was, but I've remembered. They're quite uncomfortable... hmmm

Jo said...

You can put a smiley face on it if it's intentionally melodramatic for humorous purposes though.

As to the discomfort, well, perhaps that's part of the fun, or perhaps some are more discomforted than others, eh? ;)

Martin said...

I'm wobbling at the thought of you arriving with a cockring, no one even questioning its newness until you pipe up, 'it's unsed I swear'.

Martin said...

*unused*

for the love of jesus...

Jo said...

It's in a sealed pack!!

Martin said...

Perfect for the next school jumble sale so!

Jo said...

Teehee! I just missed one...

Mwa said...

I think you should have taken the cockring. Absolutely. You could always pop over to Tesco's and get another for that other friend. I realise the advice is late now. Sorry. It's the head-full-of-snot inability to read blogs that has prevented my earlier stopping by.