Wednesday, April 13, 2011

and then Sampson decided it was time

Are you sure? asked the hairdresser, scissors poised over a hank of my son's hair. He's sure. He'll grow it again. But for now, he wants boy-hair. And there's a lot to be said for it, freedom, air, no getting ice-cream in it, no having tangles tortuously combed out. Cooler in summer. 

Ah, but he was such a rock star. 

As the scissors flashed and hair drifted to the floor in a pile, it made his father cry. He put his hand over his mouth and turned away abruptly. But a boy's haircut started to emerge quite quickly, the kiddies' places train their hair dressers for speed - though the girl who works there is great. The only thing was, she was wary of going too extreme too fast - she was appalled at to hear he'd wanted it shaved close, at first, like his dad's. We wooed him away from that idea with pictures of spiky, and were all relieved. 

I could see him glancing in the mirror, alarmed, as the classic boy's haircut she'd given him appeared. When she finished, he looked at himself, and tears welled up. 'I don't like it,' he gasped out in a little voice and my heart broke all over again. I am not made for this, I swear. Quick as a flash, we demanded gel, and I squeezed him tight as we reassured him it would be cool and funky and just hold on, don't worry, it's all ok. And it was. The chagrin changed to just a grin and he was be-cooled in a second. 'Nobody will think I'm a girl now!' And then it was all stopping to grin into mirrors and windows, chubby hands  tented over his spiky fringe in the wind to protect it, delight at the feel of it against his hand. He seems so much more vulnerable like this. Exposed. Older. Smaller. I don't know. 

But he's beautiful still, no? Not just-another-little-boy, I hope. I hope he won't lose his mojo. 

His sister is alarmed. He's had long hair since his hair started growing, and she doesn't know him any other way, by now. She didn't want him to get it cut. And today, she wasn't able to tell him it was cool, even though I asked her to. She was quiet about it. You don't look like a Bodhi! she protested, finally. I know that feeling - of thinking there's a stranger in the house because of a haircut. 


But he's happy, thank god. And tomorrow I get to practice putting in hair gel. 

It's all so Sampson. I really hope he'll grow it back after the summer... I want to live in a world where kids look like whatever they want and not have assumptions made about them

My sweet boy. I'm not so comfortable putting photos of them up, but this little milestone seems to call for it. 


Craig Sorensen said...

Well, I think you know a little of my history with long hair, and the truly cool thing about it is it grow backs faster than one might think, should he want it back.

I've had it long and short, and though I thought it might change things when I cut it, it never did.

I think he looks awesome with his new doo! Rock on, Bodhi!

Ms. Moon said...

Oh, Jo. I know this was hard. A rite of passage for sure.
But he was beautiful before and he is beautiful now and perhaps- the hair cut reflects something that he is feeling inside. Who knows?
He won't be afraid to be who he is.
Don't worry.

morgor said...

On a somewhat unrelated note, there's a new conan movie out with your favourite dude.

Janine Ashbless said...

Not just-another-little-boy, I hope.

Part of being a "man" is looking like everyone else, isn't it? They're under enormous pressure to conform.
I much prefer him in long hair, I admit, but yes, he's still a cute lad. And that grin in the second-last photo - it's exactly the same as my nephew's! :-)

laughykate said...

Oh, how cool to see your small people ! They're beautiful. And that face wears both those looks so well. He could have summer and winter looks.

My at-the- time five year old niece got given a fringe by her hairdresser - when she got home she said to her mother, 'Mummy, I don't look like me any more'.

She grew her fringe out.

Jo said...

Ugh, Kate, I hate haircuts. It makes me sick to my stomach! That awful sinking feeling :( That's exactly what he looked like at first, I don't like me anymore. Sigh. And fringes suck, I don't get fringes. I've a friend who gets a fringe who I don't see very often and every time I do, I just think, god, why?? Don't do it!!

morgor, I'd forgotten about that! So I can't say I was waiting with baited breath, but I am again now.

Craig, yeah, it will grow super fast.

Mary, I dunno. It's good to know both feelings, I guess.

Janine - well.... I don't know. The need to conform bothers me, alright, Well, not the need from his end, I understand that, and conformity is naturally a big part of kids' makeup for a while - at least in our society, that encourages it. He's young at three to be having to fight his corner, I think, kinda takes the fun out of the playground. But yeah, I miss the hair it's true. I forgot to say, it's in a paper bag, in my handbag! Scaaaary Mama...

Danielle said...

ah..i think its very cute..and now you can see that he looks actually a lot like you.....

catherine said...

He just looks so happy with his new 'do' cute..sounds like a painful day for mam & dad tho..i know this knotty feeling in the it just another part of being a parent?.you just want them to be happy ALL the time..but then thats not real either..o god..anyway..its all good in the end :))

Jo said...

You're right, Catherine. Life and haircuts, they're difficult.

I don't see that, D, I really don't. People do say it though. I used to see my mother in him a lot, but maybe I won't now there's no long hair.

Mwa said...

So gorgeous! Those eyes!

I know what you mean about not being scared to be who he is. We have the same thing with Jack. He loves his hair long, but as soon as people (children mostly) laugh at him for looking like a girl he has it cut off. And then he hates it, but at least people don't laugh at him any more. I really know what you mean.

You do have a beautiful boy.

Jo said...

Thanks, Mwa. I hate that story though! Grr!

Nikki Magennis said...

Jo, he's such a beautiful wee face. Hair long or short.

My boy's is short so far, but only cause it's grown that way. I've never cut it. Seems quite a scary thing to do, oddly.

Jo said...

Totally! It really is such a Sampson moment.

Whatever you do, don't cut it yourself. That terrifies me. My friend just made her daughter look like a capable and no nonsense 1940s lesbian. Who bicycles everywhere in a mac. It's a cute do, but I'm not sure it's what she was going for.

Martin said...

I was think 'oh no you didn't' as I was scrolling, but it really suits him.

Very grown looking all of a sudden!

Jo said...

Thanks Martin, still hope it grows back!

Rechru said...

He's definitely still a rock star! Justin Timberlake!

Jo said...

Don't say that!!