Saturday, May 9, 2015

avarice

I'm so materialistic. Things make me feel better. Until I look around my cluttered house with Things piled everywhere... and yet nonetheless, and I think it's something to do with it having been my birthday season, I'm longing for the trappings of success at the moment.

I want a car, something that looks nice and doesn't break down. I have to get one, but I also really *want* one. I am longing for a really nice handbag. I've spent the day on ebay, looking at second hand ones I can't even afford, worrying about cheap ones that are no doubt made by people being paid slave wages for slave hours. What's wrong with me? The second hand ones get me around this, and even let me away with guilt free leather, maybe, but I would still like something new and shiny and pretty to represent me. I'd like a laptop to put in it. A new wallet, a large, womanly one, that my paper notes (ha!) fit into without being bent in half. But I have one, that is a good one, it's fine, it's not worn. I don't need it. I'd like a new phone. But a good one, with a good camera. But one not made of war-minerals or by workers who are being killed the carcinogens their job exposes them to so we can have shiny technology.

Look how torn I am. The world is fucked - yet still I care about pretty things, even though I can't afford them. Is it any wonder my ebay trawling isn't soothing me!

I guess I just want a Birthday Present. 

5 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

We all like presents. We all deserve presents. And nice handbags.

Mwa said...

Mmmm nice things. They are lovely. Making yourself miserable won't help anyone in a mine.

Jo said...

Don't you think there's a value to trying to be an ethical consumer?

jo(e) said...

I too feel all kinds of angst and guilt about getting new things. I mean, I have a lifestyle that seems reasonable to me, but when I compare myself to people living in other parts of the world, I feel like I've got way too much of my share of things.

Sigh.

Jo said...

I reall do like buying things, but I'd like to be able to afford to make really good choices. Ones that help people, not harm them.