Tuesday, August 18, 2015

shark week

It's been years since I wrote a period post. I used to be the Woman Who Talked About Periods. I don't seem to be that any more. Is that a good thing? Who knows. I don't really like being the woman who whines helplessly, has no life, and forgets things, much.

I forgot something spectacularly today - I went to the loo, took out my mooncup, binned my sanitary towel and ... went and walked the dog. As I started up the hill, I started to bleed, and realised I was very aware of it. Thought, oh, should have put the cup back in after all... then realised... I hadn't replaced my pad.

I had one in the car, and emergency one in the glove box. I had to walk back to the car, and the car park was unusually busy, so rather than park in front of the hedge facing the entrance to the hill, I had had to park further down, and a group of five young men were hanging round chatting right in front of the car. So I had no choice but to sit in the driver's seat and wiggle a pad haphazardly into my pants right in front of five (hopefully) oblivious men. Happily, I was wearing a long dress, but it was still a bit of a struggle. What could I do, though? I've no interest in being that woman who ran the marathon in protest with no tampon in. I mean, where to start, I'd hate to run a marathon about as much as I'd hate to run a marathon while bleeding freely. I mean, what a fucking time to run a marathon at. Though I guess long distance runners probably don't have much in the way of periods. Bet no one thought of that! Ha!

My brain has now gone to long distance swimming while bleeding freely, and the obvious shark risk that would bring about. I've been watching lots of shark attack programmes this week, it's been shark week on tv. Bodhi and I enjoy a good documentary, all the more if it's got giant sharks in it. But it's bad for me, it makes me scared in the deep end of the pool - remember that James Bond when the villain releases the sharks, a la Mr Burns releasing the hounds, in to the pool? I still have visions of sharks appearing out of sliding doors in the wall each time I swim. Danielle thought I was ridiculous when I confessed I still look around for fins when I swim in the sea - it's probably just as well I didn't tell him the 007 phobia :) It's not that I'm actually scared, or anything, I just have an active imagination.  


Ms. Moon said...

Sometimes I think about all the years I had periods and then I think, "Really? That happened?"

Mwa said...

I always check for sharks even in the swimming pool.
I bled through pants-tights-more pants the other day. Lucky I was wearing all that.

Jo said...

Lol, Mwa. At least you didn't go sit on a white sofa in Habitat. That used to be my Great Fear :)

I can see that, Mary. It's kinda mythic, isn't it? :)