Monday, October 26, 2015


So I have a student from a hot climate who's been struggling with depression and past sexual trauma. She was going away to surf this weekend, it should have been great and healing, and instead she got drunk, blacked out, and woke up naked beside her friend from my class - who she had previously told she wasn't interested due to said trauma.

But he slept with her anyway.

So now she's in her host family house, alone and dealing with the aftermath of what is essentially a rape... and blaming herself for drinking and feeling ashamed. And you know, raped. I don't really know how to help her process that.

Though I have, through the grace of great contacts, found her a kind therapist who speaks her language and I've emailed her. But it's a bank holiday, so no outcome yet.

I wish I had a job helping people for real, instead of teaching them some English and scrabbling around unqualified. But I don't think training to do that is realistic, in terms of money and employability. Arse. ARSE! 


Ms. Moon said...

I am so glad you could help her. Just being able to talk to you is probably immensely helpful to her.
I hope the counselor comes through. I really do.

jo(e) said...

Listening to her, being there for her, and getting her in touch with a therapist -- you've done a whole lot for her. But yeah, I know with my own students that I'm often frustrated as I listen to the tragedies in their lives -- usually, I'm thinking, "I'm not a therapist -- I'm not trained to deal with this." I want to help, but it often feels that there is little I can do.

Jo said...

Exactly - they're so vulnerable. And what passes for pastoral care in our school is a narky bitch older lady accommodation 'officer' who makes doctor's appointments for them and is capable of making grown men cry. They don't go to her with their problems. They come to me, mostly, and no, I'm not qualified for anything. Or paid for it, either, god knows.

In the other school my school owns, a colleague's tutor meetings similarly turned into counselling sessions, and she was equally unqualified (though at least she was being paid for her time). I've highlighted the need for pastoral care repeatedly, but it's not profitable, so I can't see it happening.

I wish they'd send me on a course and give me a couple hours a week for anyone who just needs a friendly ear, but that's pie in the sky, it ain't gonna happen.

Joanne said...

You are a good person just to listen and help out as you can. The world needs more yous.

Jo said...

Maybe, but I feel like there should be more trained mes in positions where I can do more than just be a friendly face! I went and helped her get the morning after pill, just in case, this afternoon. Gah. Horrible situation. Also sent the guy to a different class, to his surprise, but she can't be sitting in class with him freaking out inside. And I don't want to move her yet, I don't think the change would be good right now.