This weekend of not doing anything has been quite a cure, I must say.

It's a relief. I didn't work, I didn't clean, I didn't exercise. All things I'd like to have done.

But... I've rested, and left last week's awfulness behind me a bit. I've walked the dog in the rain, and met my dog walking friend even though I thought I wasn't up to talking, and I poured out my woes to her, and she was sweetly sympathetic, and it was good.

I shopped and bought cream buns and got free ones and mmm, cream buns. That is all I will say about that.

I walked on the beach with the dog today and watched Axl being an uncle and throwing stones in the sea next to his brother and small nephew, and my son and his cousin had fun running screaming from the waves. Could he do more of that soon, he asks.

We ate delicious lunch, and I watched Axl's small niece as she sat all chilled out in a turquoise high chair that matched her coat and soother. She's a sweetie, I have to say.

I lazed and sat and lazed. And now I'm still awake, oops, too much caffeine today, but I'm tired and quite pleasantly calm all of a sudden, and it feels peaceful.

There's a radio ad I hate with burning passion on at the moment. A condesending male voice comes on and goes 'imagine, for just one moment, that everything was alright' and proceeds to explain how that can be reality if you just buy their insurance, or whatever the fuck they're sellling. And it enrages me and triggers me every time. So many people have to live with the knowledge every day that nothing will ever be alright, and they don't need some company taunting them about it every time they turn on the radio.

I think it's callous and manipulative. Or maybe that's just me? It's more likely it's just advertising. I hate advertising. And marketing. Bleh. So I turn it off. But it still punches me in the gut each time.

But for now, I feel peaceful, despite that little aside-rant to the contrary. It's momentary, but I'm enjoying it. I will shortly breathe myself into a deep and peaceful sleep, I will then awake and buy Pixies tickets for the Iveagh Gardens (which are in Dublin City Centre and always have been, but I've never actually worked out where they are). And then, triumphant, I will finish work, do last minute Christmas shopping, maybe even swim.


Sleep well, out there, whenever you do.