2 am. I had a big sleep this afternoon, due to so many late nights this week, so I don't feel as tired as I should. I had a fight with Olivia this evening and my heart is squeezed to pulp inside me. Not a fight... She bulldozed over the music I wanted to listen to as she didn't like it and I turned it off, but after 15 minutes of non stop monologue about the game she was playing I stopped her because I couldn't any more, so she abused me for not saying it to her nicely, and as always, shouted from the stairs that I am a terrible person and a failure as a human being.

My son tells me not to believe her, but the problem is, I do feel like a failure as a human being and I don't know how to stop without becoming a better one and I am too much of a failure of a human being to be able to work on that. Vicious circle.

So now it's after 2 and I remembered this evening that the new series of Orange is the New Black is up on Netflix. Dangerous dangerous.

Though I would like to go swimming in the morning as I haven't had a chance all week. Successful human beings do exercise, right? They get out of bed. I should do those things.