Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Mammy Diaries review

Mammy Diaries, by Maria Moulton, is finally out!


Maria sweetly sent me a review copy, and here's what I think.

It’s great to see The Mammy Diaries finally out on the shelf. I remember years ago on Rollercoaster, seeing Maria’s questions pop up. I was excited to get my hands on it and see what it was like after that long gestation :)


To a certain extent, I am not this book’s target audience, so I’m not so sure how useful a review by me is. Two reasons – the first is that I wanted a homebirth from the word go, and I ate up every book on the subject I could, politics, physiology of birth, all of it. From that perspective, some of the early comments in the book come from a different place than I did, and, as such, they weren’t voices I related to. I do know plenty of people approach pregnancy on a need-to-know basis, and they would get more from it than I. The second reason is that I was never anyone’s Mammy or Mam, and the book title totally alienates me. But I know I’m in the minority, and I hope it has the opposite effect on everyone else.

My one other complaint is that the self-published as the book is, I think it could do with a rigorous edit – a few glitches caught my eye, the exclamation marks need culling, and I found it a little hard to determine the switches between the voices of the mothers and the author.

However, aside from those criticisms, I think the book is great – it’s humorous, real and practical and gives voice to all sorts of mothers’ experiences. I said that I thought the book wasn’t for me, initially, but I changed my mind as I started getting engrossed in the birth stories, both sad and uplifting. The breast feeding section is useful and supportive and pleasantly emphatic, and I love the connection to Friends of Breastfeeding. The book includes a detailed and honest section on post natal depression, which I think is vital, really, in these days of nuclear families where women with young children can feel very isolated and alone. I think it’s a thoughtful and realistic inclusion.

I am a little sorry that the only quote that I originally provided that made it into the book is a rather dubious one about extended feeling – I feel quite the hypocrite given that I went on to feed my son for an emphatic three and a half years! Perhaps part of me still feels the way I did in the book, but that got overridden pretty fast.

I think other women and mothers are our best resource. We are lucky if we are surrounded by a circle of them, but some of us aren’t, and I think this book goes a long way to create that feeling of solidarity and understanding. The section on Bad Mammy Moments is worth the asking price alone. This would make a really fun, practical and thoughtful present for a mother-to-be, I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

dreams

This morning I was heavily involved with Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker - though I don't think they were actually married and he was much younger than he is now. Most peculiar.

On my first pregnancy I had a lot of very sensual dreams, often more about touch or closeness than sex - I dreamed about falling asleep against an old friend who had a child, and it was so incredibly comfortable - I was acutely aware of dreaming that I was asleep while actually being asleep - layers of sleeping! I also had a dream that I'd slept with another old friend with whom I had once, so very long ago had a brief and unmeaningful teenage dalliance with - and I made the mistake of mentioning this to him, which got him and his girlfriend incredibly worried that I was somehow trying to confess my secret passions - or 'latent desire' as he put it. God. How humiliating, how unexpected - how disappointing that was. It never occured to me that anyone would consider that some sort of confession or proposal...

I don't think dreams are ever that simple, or direct. Both my husband and I have had really arousing dreams about very old people (thankfully once offs) but I don't think this means we have a perverted attraction to the elderly (I'm sure there's a horrible word for the fetish that no doubt exists - Wrinkly-wranglers, or something!). Nor do I fancy Matthew Broderick or another old friend I dreamt about having sweet, but completely unsatisfying teenage sex with the night before (now that's a funny one - because this is someone I knew in my teens, in my dreams he has sex like a teenager - odd...). I don't know why I dream about people from my past so much - perhaps there aren't enogh people in my present, or more likely because I've been an old married woman for so long I don't see myself as a sexually active or desirable person any more (oh dear, sudden depressing realisation alert).

I think that during pregnancy, having another life inside you gives you a heightened need for physical closeness, and that sex is just one manifestations of that. When I was pregnant I felt a very strong need for touch - massage, hugs, to hold a baby - just want human contact really, and unfortunately I have a husband who is 'physically undemonstrative' to a fault - six and a half months pregnant and I've had perhaps two massages from him - is it any wonder I'm dreaming about Matthew Broderick?!

The only literal sex dreams I'll admit to are the ones I've had about Angel (not so much David Boreanaz, sweet as he is) but to be honest, I think that's just as much about wanting to be Buffy!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I heart swimming

Ooo, I had a nice swim today. They always are. I had a cushy health club membership when I was pregnant with my first but sadly not any more. So today I had freebie tickets to a pool in a gym - very functional (and cold!) but so nice. And as they had a really shallow toddlers' pool my daughter suddenly started swimming beautifully for the first time. Fantastic!

It feels so good to swim when you're pregnant and overweight like me - it's the only time I ever feel physically adept and fast. And I love the idea of the baby swimming inside me while floating in a bigger pool.

I wonder if it's a good way to turn mapresented babies - you could do summersaults underwater and they'd have loads of free space - though holding your breath isn't such a good idea, I guess.

I wish I had a pool. I'd swim twice a day!