
Food is not my friend at the moment.
It's an ongoing wrangle with my daughter, and she's currently meant to be avoiding gluten and lactose. Which is actually going well for her, except she ate so little as it was and it's a restrictive diet.
And a lot of the substitutes taste pleh.
So tonight she wants to eat her a third bowl of cereal of the day as her dinner. I'm bankrupting myself on soya milk. She's angry and ornery again about it. Her stomach pains have cleared, but now I seem to be getting stress cramps instead.
I'm getting Bodhi to stop feeding at night again, and while it's working, he's sleeping fitfully and is up early. I've been munching constantly through tiredness and it's a side effect of the correcting too. I feel enslaved by my constant food desire.
I wish we could just clear the fridge and cupboards and live on nutrients from the air and water for a week. Release ourselves from the constant wrangles and drudgery of food preparation. The sugar cravings, the boredom-hunger, the shopping, the waste, the wondering what to put in the lunchbox at 8.30 every morning.
I'd like a break, a clear out, some freedom from food.