waiting

Look what us poor mothers and the poor babies have to go through: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xath6kOf0NE&mode=related&search=

It's hard to get my head around the idea that in a matter of weeks (god willing!) I 'll be giving birth to this baby currently stretching inside me. I think with my first I was excited and nervous and also so not ready for it to happen. now I'm ready in one sense (in the sick of being pregnant sense) though not in the preparing house for new arrival sense. At least the husband dispatched the evil and mysterious smell in the hall, where I plan to erect the birth pool (though that's the wrong word for such a lovely oval inflatable thing as it is) with the help of Vanish carpet cleaner. Then I realised he'd spilled pool water on the place where the binbag I'd placed by the door had leaked old pickle water and bin juice - bleh. Baking powder not an efficient cleaner in that particular case!

I digress. Unpleasantly.

So now I'm feeling very calm and welcoming - I think thanks to the hypnobirthing - any time I tend towards a hint of thinking 'Oh my god, labour, pushing, pain, what if something goes wrong??' a feeling of confident calm sweeps beatifically over me. But it's still odd to imagine that it's going to happen. In some ways I don't quite believe it.

And then what about after? I don't have the same sense of connection to this baby that I had with my daughter - at this stage I knew her already, that she was a girl, that she had an incredibly strong will. This one seems more of a mystery, I suppose because I had the time and space to really pay attention?

So what will my labour turn out to be?

I hope it will be at night.
Calm and quiet, if like the last one that will be fine, it was manageable.
I want the time to get to use the pool!
To avoid pushing and breathe the baby out it would be soooo nice.
I want to feel supported, not alone during the last stage.
I want to avoid tearing at all this time - good management of last stage.
I won't be afraid to expel the placenta this time!

And like last time, I'm looking forward to getting into my bed, with fresh linen, and snuggling with all of us and the baby and having a glass of prosecco (apparently good for breastfeeding! and a slice of cake - not my MIL's flavourless apple tart. Or her, for a few hours after.) And this time the baby goes in a sling, poor thing. No motherinlaw-erly poking of the newborn this time!

Here are some beautiful videos of births: http://www.birthasweknowit.com/trailer.html