sexless infantasia

So I put up a couple posts referring to outdoor nudity in the last week. And garnered a comment about the frisky content of the blog. Which leads me to something I've been meaning to write about for a while.
Recently I got accused of insincerity (gasp! Me!) because of the lack of sex on my blog. Of 'playing sexless but only funny' (gasp again!). And when I protested that it was a mommyblog, it was suggested that mammies can be sexy too. Which is of course, a point.

And it did come from someone who knows what I have on my mind most of the time.

The sad thing is, I thought there was sex on here. Perhaps not all the time, and no daily confessions or anything. But... you know, links, and the odd picture, or porn star, or sex ed issue, or periods or what have you. But in fairness, when I looked back, it had been a while. And also, when I started blogging, Midgetwrangler was blogging a lot about being a mother, and her body and sexuality, and it was quite inspiring. But she's since had big life changes, and says she isn't blogging anymore (though she is a little bit), and is possibly feeling rather different about things these days.

So I anguished over it for a bit. None of the other mammies I read write about sex on their mammy blogs, really. Whether or not they're pro-gay porn. Or not. And sadly, my passing fancy pro gay porn posts put some people off. And I hate the idea that people are shaking their heads, and thinking, oh Jo, so adolescent and inappropriate. So my feelings were that I prefer to keep my sex stories to the sex writer blogs I frequent where sex is daily bread and butter. And no one will get offended. Or off-put. It's not like I'm averse to it here, just ... time and place.

But that particular phrase cut me for a specific reason. Once I asked Axel what he thought of me when he first met me. He said 'You were funny and booby and brimming with sexuality'. And I've often wondered what happened to that Jo. Is the answer that I'm playing the sexless but only funny one (and the boobs have just gone south, it goes without saying :)? I was already so sad about losing that girl. And that made me think she was more gone than I thought. Because I honestly, really thought that this blog represented me. That what was in here went on it uncensored. More or less. I don't want to get in trouble for saying things I shouldn't, as is one of my less appealing traits that has dogged me my whole life.

And then there's the fact that my sex life is... quiet. Quiet and cobwebbed. And mostly between me and the internet. Not like this sort of boring married people sex (that I'm sure I linked to before! Because I put sex on my blog!). It has its moments, but there are times when I could lie down and weep for the girl I was and what she wanted out of life. But I really don't want to write about that. Not too often. It's not the sort of shit anyone wants to hear. Too often, at least. If I had sexy-joy to spread I would. I think.

So anyway. That is my treatise on why I don't write about sex all the time. And I'm not playing sexless... I just don't know that here is the place to play. I play elsewhere...

What do you all think. More sex? Less sex? What kind of sex? My head is a little wrecked about it. And the original conversation was about a month ago. Sigh.

I always thought that I'd do whatever I wanted to on here. But losing readers has an impact, I suppose. But I'll stop trying to think about it now, as I've written this post under adverse conditions. The natives are restless today.

Oh! I forgot to include proof of our sometime filthiness. And the admittedly not very filthy post that won me the accolade. I lost the badge, of course. Boo :(